Omega sense and Alpha sensibilty
by msarahv
Summary: After his father's passing, Castiel is destitute. He meets Dean Winchester, a delicate, sensitive Alpha and falls for him. But what can he do when he has no money or beauty to offer?
1. Chapter 1

No matter what you were told about the importance of birth and good manners to determine the value of a person in society, Castiel Novak knew this to be an absolute falsehood.

He shared a father with Michael Novak, had attended highly respectable convent schools in his youth and could express himself with utter politeness in no less than four languages.

Yet, from the moment said father passed away and left them in relative poverty, a month ago, the whole of society, including his half-brother and Adam, his betrothed, had only shewn contempt and mockery toward his immediate family.

His little brother Gabriel, a being almost entirely at the mercy of his emotions, was enraged by this and would complain and throw fits at the most inconvenient times such as today, when Michael's brother-in-law was to arrive at any moment, "in his barouche" as Adam had proudly proclaimed.

Castiel had tried reasoning with him, explained the dangers of such a display, when modesty and acceptance were much more advisable choices, but nothing had prevailed. He had to sit there in the over-heated living-room, fastened in his omega garments, listening to Gabriel being impertinent at Michael, while Adam smirked in the background.

Castiel's cheeks were blushing over and over but Gabriel didn't notice at all. Their mother, Jane, a woman who had the misfortune of only birthing male omegas, was quiet when she should have scolded. Such a lax upbringing had been a disservice to the three brothers, affecting not only Gabriel, but also little Samandriel, who was showing a tendency to speak his mind much too honestly.

Castiel felt he had grown up too quickly and was now in charge of finding a new roof for them on his own. Michael had hinted at helping them move out and provide them with a carriage ride to wherever they could disappear to. Apparently he didn't think they were owed any money from the inheritance.

So, here it was, without a dowry, Castiel had no value. No sensible alpha would marry him, and he was much too unostentatious to raise someone's interest otherwise. His mother had kindly said that Castiel's most beautiful traits were his eyes, but he surmised she was trying not to hurt his feelings.

"Our father passed away less than a month ago and you want to throw a ball? That is very insensitive of you, Michael!" Gabriel cried, just as a butler came in to announce Mr Winchester's arrival.

"Well, given the way you are raising your voice at me, I believe it wise that you do not participate in this ball, Gabriel. I don't know who decided that it was alright for you to be out at such a young age. Such a childish behavior should never be tolerated."

"So not only do you steal our home, you also..."

Cas stood up to intervene, mortified, when an alpha walked in. He looked very fashionable, but did not show arrogance on his features. His green eyes were soft and kind, reminding Castiel of a pastor he had known as a child. Adam witnessed his presence immediately and ran across the room with fervor.

"Dean, you are finally here! Have you brought your barouche?"

"Adam, I'm glad to see you, indeed. I did not, I rode Impala as I always do."

"Oh, what a pity, I wanted to show it to my neighbours. It will have to wait another time. What do you think of the house? Isn't it impressive?"

Dean deferred his answer to bow in front of Castiel's mother. He looked in her direction to say:

"It is a very fine residence. I passed several luxuriant fields on my way here. The harvest must be abundant."

"Who cares about harvests," Adam exclaimed in an impatient tone, " when there are gardens to admire. I will take you there immediately and show you the wonders of the place, as well as tell you the changes I intend to make."

Castiel started at this lack of consideration for his widowed mother's feelings and Dean must had noticed for he smiled and said:

"I'm afraid my riding here was draining. I must ask for a calmer activity."

Jane seized the occasion to regain her status as hostess and called the butler:

"Why, it is time for tea if I am not mistaken. Could you prepare some scones and sandwiches? Unless Mr Winchester disapprove of such food?"

"On the contrary, Mrs Novak, I am very found of sandwiches and cold meat. I prefer them to fruits, so whenever I'm given an apple, I keep it for my horse."

This statement was met with relieved laughs and even Gabriel smiled.

Castiel started to think that Dean Winchester seemed as different from Adam as Michael was from them. He also started noticing that Dean's alpha uniform was very fitting and that he should excuse himself at some point to go and change his undergarments.

He couldn't remember the last time his body had reacted in such a fashion and reflected on its uselessness. Dean Winchester may be a considerate gentleman but Castiel was still unmatable. He resigned himself to watching him interact with Gabe, the two of them arguing about what constituted a beautiful landscape while Michael interrupted them with definite and incorrect statements.

In the evening, Gabriel sat at the piano forte and played a melody that filled Castiel with melancholy. He didn't see Dean on the floor above, listening to Gabriel's instrument but looking at Castiel with a thoughtful air.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Castiel was coming back from his morning walk when he came upon Gabriel seated on his favorite bench, a thick book in hand. He was crying silently which gave Castiel pause. His brother could still be overwhelmed by their father's passing, but he could also be affected by his reading, surely a romantic fiction about a brave omega living a passionate and sad mating.

Castiel did not understand the power of fiction. He was generally very content with life as it was, that is he was content to experience it, no matter how frustrating it would turn to be. He had read what his teachers asked him to, mostly sermons about how to be an obedient, modest omega, and knew a few classics, like 'Romeo and Tybalt', where the lovers met an horrid end, which didn't help the cause. He much prefered his daily stroll, where he could reflect, as well as escape his responsabilities for half an hour.

He gently sat, ready to console and caress, but Gabriel surprised him. He turned his reddened eyes in Castiel's direction and whispered:

"Cas... Do you think you'll ever be mated?"

This was the first time the subject was raised between the two of them. Castiel was wary of extinguishing his little brother's hopes for the future, but at the same time, he did not want to be guilty of dishonesty. He had to help Gabriel in ways their mother wouldn't even consider.

"I doubt it, Gabriel. I'm quite old now and while I am not entirely destitute, my rent is too low to attract any alpha of my condition."

Gabriel shook his head, looking distraught.

"If an alpha were to fall in love with you, he would not be stopped by money considerations."

Castiel smiled at his brother's naiveté.

"Love might be the basis of a mating, but one must be cautious about scarcity. The union of an alpha and an omega generally results in pups and it would be tragic if carelessness were to result in poverty."

"As befalls us."

"You cannot blame our father for this. Mother was certain she would inherit from our grandfather. They could not have known of his... gambling problems, and thus felt free to spend all of their income instead of saving a part of it."

Gabriel was aghast:

"Why was I not explained any of this?"

"You are very young, Gabe. Pups like you and Samandriel need to be protected from such sad news."

"I am not a pup anymore! I am of mating age and whatever you say about it, I fully believe I can excite passions so great that an alpha could fall in love with me and disregard any financial limitations."

Castiel's love for his brother grew another inch in that moment.

"In that case, let us pray that this alpha is very rich."

The two omegas were laughing heartily when they heard some footsteps on the gravel. Castiel tensed, hoping it wasn't Michael who was coming to lecture them, but when he looked at the intruder, it was a more pleasant apparition.

Dean Winchester was bowing to them, looking merry.

"May I ask what joke you were telling, Mr Novak? I dearly wish for a laugh."

Castiel shrugged:

" 'tis an omega private joke, I am afraid, Mr Winchester. Nothing that you could relate to."

"Are you saying that an alpha's sensitivity is too different from an omega's?"

"Isn't it? It is well known that alphas can fill their lives any way they wish to, so they do not need to dwell on their own feelings."

It seemed to Castiel that Dean's smiled faltered for a second, but maybe it was just a trick of the sun.

"I do not fully agree. Few alphas are totally free of their movements. We have family obligations as well as what we owe to our rank."

"Perhaps, but no activities are forbidden to your gender, the way they are for women and omegas. Unless you are very poor, but this is not your case."

Dean waved his delicate fingers to answer:

"One may be wealthy, but prosperity does not equal independance. I sometimes feel that someone with a profession is more in charge of his destiny."

"Really?" cried Gabriel, who had been silent until then, "and pray, what profession would you feel equiped for?"

"I am underqualified for any profession, but if I were to have my way, I would very much like to look after pups."

"Really? That is a very shocking statement. You must be willing to tease us."

Dean's eyes were very serious when they met Castiel's own. The omega felt himself trembling and lusting.

"I would not permit myself that. I am in fact looking for Adam. He promised to give me a tour but I do not see him anywhere."

Castiel stood up, baring his moral strength.

"Our brother-in-law likes to stay in bed quite late now that he is expecting. Let me take his place and show you the sight."

Gabriel was smirking at him but Castiel did not falter. Dean's smile widened and he took Castiel's elbow in his gloved hand.

"Such a generous offer should not be met with ungratefulness. I am all yours."

Castiel hoped his vest was dark enough to hide any wetness. His trembling had subsided, replaced by a warm feeling in his chest whenever Dean looked at him, which was often.


	3. Chapter 3

Castiel had made it his life study to avoid being perceived as vain. He rarely visited London, which meant he was preserved from temptation, such as the latest fashion in omega vests or hats. He also had a very small allowance and understood quite well why they had to be prudent with money.

Mostly, he was aware of the importance of the fine balance between wearing practical, reasonable clothing and preserving one's rank. Thus, he had only worn his embroidered tail coat and his frilled cotton neck cloth on the few social occasions he had attended after being out some years ago. No mating had resulted which was something to accept with grace.

* * *

Now, he stood in his boudoir, biting his lip, careful not to look in the mirror too often, while Hannah, his maid, made sure the ensemble looked impeccable.

"Sir is quite becoming. Should we work on your hair next?"

"Yes, thank you but could you be careful not to make it look too neglectful. I would rather not attract too much attention."

"Certainly, sir. Although, if I may say, it might prove difficult not to attract attention when sir looks so handsome and elegant."

"Yet, this is an old outfit."

"On another omega it may look old-fashioned but not on sir."

Castiel was growing more and more embarrassed hearing such words. He quickly joined the breakfast table and composed himself. When Dean appeared, he felt equal to answering his morning salutation with a quiet mind.

Gabriel was in a more agitated mood, fidgeting on his chair so much that Castiel considered a discreet intervention. He didn't need to, as Gabriel suddenly exclaimed:

"I declare, Mr Winchester, with Michael gone to London, that makes you the Alpha of the house! We may need you for protection."

In a strange fashion, it took Dean quite a long moment to answer to the simple compliment. It wasn't food that required his attention, but something more evanescent, as he seemed lost in a dream.

Only Castiel's minute observation must have permitted him to catch the subtle start in Dean's countenance, he was sure.

"You attempt to flatter me Mr Gabriel, I am by no mean a fierce warrior. The only protection I could provide is for your poultry, and then only if no terrifying wolf is involved."

Castiel let a smile evade him. Dean must have noticed for he exclaimed:

"Are you mocking me, Mr Novak, or is it another of your private omega jokes?"

"I would not mock anyone for fearing wolves Mr Winchester. It shows a maturity of judgment that comes from either knowledge or experience and is much more preferable to the audacious temerity of youth."

"Now that does change the subject of your mockery for you are calling me an old man."

Castiel was calling Dean a lot of things in the privacy of his own head but this was not one of them.

"I am calling you a wise alpha, which I approve very much. I prefer to live in peace rather than dread impulsiveness and aggression."

Gabriel let out an uncouth laugh, pretended not to notice Castiel's frown and cried:

"La! And what will the both of you do if said wolf does attack the village?"

"Then, I will rely on the professional guards that are trained and armed to deal with such nuisance. I do think, Gabriel, that your romantic ideas are not applicable in real life."

Gabriel conceded the point and suggested a more sedate outing, a walk to the milliner shop. As Castiel knew that his brother was reasonable enough to limit himself to window gazing, he agreed heartily.

"I shall accompany you, then," said Dean with a mischievous smile, ", for while I cannot protect you from wolves, I might be able to deter common robbers."

Castiel did not find any witty retorts to this, but his eyes met Dean's own. He didn't dare wink but did incline his head to the left to show he appreciated the pleasantry.

It must have been just an impression, but Dean's stride seemed a little more vigorous.

* * *

Castiel's merriment was altered when they met his brother-in-law down the stairs. Adam barely acknowledged him or Gabriel and talked to Dean for so long, they all feared they would not have time for their walk. Suddenly, Adam did look at Castiel and exclaimed:

"I dare say, brother, this is an extraordinary choice of clothing for a simple walk to the village. Don't you think you have passed the age for such frivolousness?"

This met Castiel's concern perfectly. He felt unable hide his blush and turned away from Dean. Gabriel looked aghast and ready to break protocol again but fortunately Dean spoke back, a hint of authority in his voice:

"It would not occur to me to call Mr Novak unmatable if this is your meaning, Adam. Taking care of one's appearance is a matter of pride to anyone of high breeding as you well know, would they be alpha, omega or female. I find Mr Novak's outfit most appropriate."

Adam looked chagrined. As a married omega, he outranked Castiel, but Dean was his superior. He pressed his lips and wished them a pleasant walk.

Gabriel ran for a few steps then caught himself. In the meantime, Dean matched his steps with Castiel and even offered him his elbow. Castiel suppressed his trembling and caught it gently. He felt his leg spasm and had to stop. Dean immediately voiced his concern:

"Are you unwell? Do you want to turn around?"

"No, no, do not worry. I must have tumbled over the gravel. I feel perfectly fine I assure you."

He was indeed. Dean proved particularly attentive so as to make Castiel forget the previous humiliation at the hand of his brother.


	4. Chapter 4

The rules of decorum, however necessary for a civil society, were at times particularly restricting.

It had been six days since Dean Winchester had set foot in their house and Castiel was now ascertained of his good character and morality. Yet, he could not in any way explore any meaningful conversation with him, nor confide about personal matters. Their frequent chattering had to be confined to airy nothings, demanding more wit than depth. Castiel's reserve of wit was quite limited but, fortunately, Dean did not seem to think less of him and sought his company more than he did anyone else.

The fact was noticed by Gabriel one evening, as they were retiring to their room.

"I do not think I caught Mr Winchester's fancy," he said with an exaggerated sigh.

Castiel knew how to keep a perfect composure no matter the circumstances, but this time, it took some efforts to do so.

"Were you hoping you would? I was not under the impression your interest in him had a romantic quality."

Gabriel shook his head in his dramatic fashion of his:

"It is my turn to mock your naiveté, brother. An omega does not develop an interest. He's being pursued. It is the strength of the Alpha's feelings for him that will define the importance of the romance."

They entered the room and proceeded to their nightly ablutions but Castiel could not let the previous conversation to rest.

"So, are you saying that Mr Winchester is not a passionate man?"

"I am. I do not understand how one can an alpha be so sensitive and down to earth. He acts every little bit like you do. If mating is indeed based on similarity in character, then you two are the perfect match."

"Ouch!"

Castiel patted his belly, found the offending pin and discarded it. His casual manners did not fool Gabe who carried on:

"He shows every symptom of attachment. It is now almost impossible to get a word with him if you are not already there. I would be jealous if he wasn't so dull and you so happy about it."

"You are talking nonsense Gabe. Mr Winchester is only civil to me and has not hinted at an union of any kind," before Gabriel could interrupt, he added: " I do believe you are mistaken about the whole of it. I am not attractive nor young. A wealthy man like him has more than enough money and time to go spend it with women or alphas of his rank."

"We are of his rank! And if he is to look down on you, I will make him see the error of his ways."

"No, you will not. No matter what you said earlier, you do appreciate Mr Winchester, especially if compared to our relatives."

"Oh, yes, so very much! Adam just told me today that he expect me to count the silverware with him so that none of it goes missing later. It was all I could do not to yell at him."

"I admire your restraint," said Castiel, more sincere than sarcastic, "I think it is time that I remind our mother that she has to look for a new home, before you lose that."

But his mother would not hear of it.

"Michael is away for at least a month. I wouldn't dream of letting his mate on his own when he is expecting. That would be negligent of us."

Castiel, who doubted his mother's intention, retorted immediately:

"Adam's brother is here to take care of him. There are also servants and doctors around. I must insist that finding a home is a tedious and lengthy task. I can assist you if you wish."

"I will not think of parting now when we have just made a delightful new acquaintance. I am sure Mr Winchester would not like to see us leave too soon. He is such a pure-hearted, handsome alpha, don't you think so Castiel?"

Castiel was saved from answering by the man himself. Dean was entering the room and to Castiel it made anything else fade away. Dean bowed to them and spent some time exchanging pleasantries with Castiel's mother.

Castiel waited in silence, his mind occupied with what his mother had just speculated about. It was vexing that he could not tell for certain if Mr Winchester showed any inclination toward him. Camaraderie was a given, which was already enormous for friendless Castiel. Against all reason, he hoped for more.

Dean finally turned to him and said, a quiet excitement in his voice:

"I was about to take a ride on my horse when I heard the stable-man mention that you were yourself an accomplished rider. I am here to implore you to accompany me on this fine sunny day."

Castiel looked in his mother's direction for approval and saw her beaming at Dean.

"It is such a fine day indeed. I am sure Castiel will impress you."

But it was Castiel that experienced a shock. Dean was a remarkable rider, looking more superb and strong on his horse than he did indoors. Castiel would have loved to race him, if such a display had been permitted to omegas. He resorted to expressing his excitement verbally:

"I have just discovered another secret Mr Winchester. You are not always reserved and modest, at least when a horse is involved."

Dean's laugh was different too. He patted his horse's neck and said:

"Impala is one of my dearest friends. I love her dearly."

"One rarely defines an animal as a friend."

"True, but the fact remains that loyalty and acceptance are rarely bestowed to me. If I were to count, I dare say that I could not find more than three beings I can call friends."

"Really and who shall the other two be?"

"My brother, for a start. And then... well..."

He was blushing, in a very un-alpha-like manner. Castiel found himself react similarly. Both men let the horses come to a stop under a tree. Castiel waited but Dean was silent.

After a long embarrassed moment, he decided to say:

"I do not want to pry. You can forget my question, if you wish."

"No, it is not... I have no notion if the sensation is the same for you, but I do feel as if we've always known each other. Do you reject the idea of us being friends?"

Castiel's heart was beating very fast, as a result from the physical exertion of riding.

"I do not reject it at all. I do not have friends outside of my own families either but we are brothers-in-law now. I do wish for less restraint in our conversations if that is what you wish."

Dean looked very pleased. On the way back home, they did venture in more personal inquiries, which led them to discover that they had a few tastes in common.


	5. Chapter 5

Despite his strict upbringing, Castiel was quite advantaged in that he knew of his own body. This was not the case for every other omegas he had gone to school with. Mating was a subject so delicate in their circle, it was only ever studied in terms of feelings and propriety.

Yet, truth was, some knowledge was required and so, one day, the convent authorities had assembled all the omegas who had been birthed by women, and as such couldn't be taught by a parent who shared their physical behavior, and taken them outside the institution. There were barely ten of them, all wondering what was so pressing that they needed an extra course, chatting about the little they knew about mating, walking briskly to a part of town that was much less prosperous than they were used to.

When they reached their destination, their ward departed, leaving them with a strange-looking fellow, whose dress indicated his reduced circumstances, while his smirk and strong expressions showed a strong, independent character.

He introduced himself with only his first name, Balthazar, to the delight of all the students, then said, as an opening:

"I am aware that you are all of high breeding and tight corsets, but I have to ask you this. Let us relax decorum, as much as we can for these lessons. There is too much at stake to waste our time with intricate turns of phrases. To help you understand yourself, we will need to be blunt."

And blunt he had been. More than once, Castiel's delicacy had been challenged and he had a few bad dreams for a few fortnight, until he disclosed his discomfort in one of the sessions. It was met with laughter by the other young omegas, but his teacher had looked at him with kindness and assuaged his fears.

Recently, he had ascertained that Gabriel had been to the same class and, given their impoverished state, Castiel felt that all of little Samandriel's education was to be conducted at home and that he would have to, one day, breach this very subject.

Thus, when Castiel awoke feeling poorly, he did not mistake himself to be sick. Instead, he sent Gabriel for errands, resulting in him being given a different bedroom and his mother being informed that he was to be excused from socializing. He expected it to be met with indifference, so his mother visiting him in his fragile state was a surprise and a shock.

"I was astonished at hearing about your state, Castiel. Weren't you the one to tell me that, once past the juvenile age, omegas were not troubled that way until they mated?"

Fighting the fever in his brain, Castiel still searched ways to convey his private feelings without being exposed to humiliation.

"I might have been to hasty in my explanations. Heats do indeed rarely occur past eighteen years old, unless one is already mated, nevertheless there are other factors."

"And what might those be?"

Castiel closed his eyes for a moment, praying his mother would take the hint and leave him to his own device, but resigned himself for disclosure:

"If one is, in his heart and soul, ready to mate with someone else, then the body may prepare, even though no actual union has taken place."

There was a long pause. For the first time in his life, his mother broke decorum and asked plainly:

"So you are in love with him?"

Castiel nodded. His mother caressed his hair gently, then wished him a swift recovery. When he heard the door close behind her, Castiel relented and relaxed as much as he could.

In the evening, a servant was dispatched with a light dinner. Castiel was still eating when his maid announced a visitor.

"Mr Winchester requests to have a few words with you."

"Tell Mr Winchester that I am in no shape to do so. I am very sick."

The maid came back a few minutes later, insisting on the pressing nature of Mr Winchester's request. Castiel insisted back on the depth of his distress. He was just about resorting in asking Gabriel's assistance in deferring him, when he was delivered a book.

"Mr Winchester says he's feeling dismayed at your poor state and wishes to lift your spirit with one of his favored authors. He also asks to be fetched whenever you feel equal to receiving him."

Castiel was so touched and hormonal that he started weeping. He endured the pain and burning sensations that followed armed with the notion that it all stepped from a purity of feelings that might be reciprocated.

After three miserable days, Castiel's trial was over. He still felt fatigued so he elected to stay in reclusion and finally start Dean's book. This turned out to be a very sensible decision as the story he discovered proved fascinating. For the first time, Castiel appreciated the invigorating power of fiction.

In fact, he became so engrossed in it that he became restless. To calm his spirits, he put the book away and walked to the window. The fresh air was very welcomed.

Castiel witnessed a familiar figure in the garden. He identified him at the same moment that Dean looked in his direction and spotted him. The meeting of their gazes proved as intense as the fictional story Castiel had just indulged in.

In the afternoon, Castiel came back to his own bedroom, which allowed him to dress, if not with elegance, at least with propriety, hence permitting him to ask Mr Winchester to join him for a quick chat.


	6. Chapter 6

It would prove difficult for Castiel to define the exact moment he ceased to consider himself unmatable.

It might have been when Dean sat on the blue chair next to the window in the boudoir, talking with excitement about literature, his tone loud but his gestures soft, the tip of his fingers brushing against the wooden armrest. It was still possible he was mistaken and he took great care in admonishing himself repeatedly for fear of falling further.

Yet the hopeful feelings were tenacious, making great noises inside his mind whenever Dean's tone of voice turned into something resembling closeness and familiarity. It was proving difficult for Castiel to participate in the conversation for he lost focus too many times.

After a few minutes in this fashion, Dean stood up, looking bashful:

"I am so sorry, Mr Novak. I am guilty of failing to notice your tired state. I hope you will excuse this oversight, it is caused by the intensity of my feelings towards..." his voice failed for a very short moment, "... good-written novels. I must have worn your patience out."

Castiel stood out too, careful not to be hasty in his movements and answered in a placating manner:

"You must not think anything of the sort. Exhaustion is the only reason for my being so impolite. I found this conversation of the highest interest and do wish to continue it another day, if you are so inclined."

Dean's responding smile would have launched thousands of gossips had they been in a public setting. Castiel's heart was for once the winner against his mind, predicting a happy outcome as soon as Mr Winchester could get past his shy nature.

* * *

He was still lost in this happy state of mind when he came down to dinner that night and heard from a beaming Adam that Michael had sent words that he could start on the preparations for a ball. Castiel accepted the news with grace, slightly worried that his brother-in-law would remember a past conversation between Gabriel and Michael and forbid his presence. Gabe indeed had a strange look in his eyes as if he was getting ready to admonish Adam again. Castiel quickly spoke:

"Will you still be among us Mr Winchester for this momentous occasion?"

Dean gave an elegant shrug:

"The decision for my movements is not my own. I must report to my father and follow his orders."

"I am sure Father would not take you away from me when I am in such need of assistance in my state," Adam cried, "I will write him immediately and tell him all about it."

Castiel noticed the stiffness of Dean's neck in this instant, as well as the way he looked down at his soup instead of answering right away. He felt a pang of sympathy for a kindred soul, as he knew very well the frustration of not being one's own master.

Adam was still talking about the food and the music, so lost in it he did not seem to notice no one else at the table was engaging him. Castiel's mother was a tableau of pensiveness, her black veils falling like teardrops around her hair. Gabriel was almost lifeless, a fact that greatly worried Castiel. He nudged him under the table, startling him. Gabriel shuddered but rallied magnificently.

"I am afraid I do not own anything of fashion these days," he said with a smirk, "I will have to hide in the antechambers."

Adam was about to reply, a frown forming on his forehead but Dean was faster:

"Nonsense! I am sure Michael will be generous towards his own two brothers. Won't he Adam? I am sure he will have his relatives looking nothing short of the finest elegance, as is all proper."

He did not add ' _or what will society think of him?_ ' but it was not needed. It was settled. Gabriel and Castiel would be seen at the ball and Michael would pay for their clothing. Mrs Novak looked much more cheerful all of a sudden.

* * *

It took Castiel a few days to finish the book that Dean had lent him. He was pondering if the subject, a romance between a poor omega and a aristocratic alpha, was conveying a message to which he may have to answer. His indifference to the writing realm was preventing him to do so but he was struck with an idea. He asked Gabriel to play a symphony called 'Romance : Allegretto' from Hayden for the last night before the ball. Gabriel who loved music accepted with enthusiasm and started adapting the score, from strings to piano.

In the meantime, Castiel asked Meg to find the most flattering color for him to wear. She was most helpful, asking the other maids about the latest fashion and criticizing very openly anything she deemed 'not dashing enough'. Castiel felt about all these attacks to his modesty but Mr Winchester was still un-proposing. For once in his life, he was focused on his personal happiness and how to attain it.


	7. Chapter 7

It was a matter of great relief to Castiel to see that his little brother was subtly recovering from their father's passing. He had been worried about the extreme anguish he had demonstrated, due to, Castiel was certain of that, the tendency to exaggeration his passionate nature was prone to.

Castiel was mourning too, quietly, struggling to appear unaffected as was proper. He found this of particular importance for little Samandriel was in need of the best example for how to behave. Gabriel's own bearing left a great deal to be desired when his emotions overcame his good-humored countenance. Yet, on the eve of Adam's first ball, Gabe was calm and happy, his features harmonized by a genuine smile.

Castiel was so engrossed in observing him, he failed to notice he was himself the object of scrutiny. Mr Winchester's eyes were roaming his face, a fact that was noted by Mrs Novak with great delight, although she did not like the hint of distress she could read in them.

Michael had just come back from London and was the master of all their conversations, but even then, a dominant alpha must want a rest after a while, so he urged Gabriel to entertain them with some music. With a smirk to Castiel, he joined the piano and started the symphony that was bound to reveal to Dean the depth of Castiel's feelings toward him.

It required a complex, subtle set of movements for Castiel to be in Dean's vicinity, while still facing him. That first task executed, he waited for the melody to start waving its delicate tapestry. Dean was seated very still, his large hands flat on his knees, his body turned to Adam who was waving at him. There was a sudden change in his demeanor and he turned to the piano with a frown. Castiel wished for a moment he could trade his own temperament with Gabriel's, as he was not sure he could show his emotions as masterly.

Dean did catch his gaze and thankfully remained fixed upon it. Castiel smiled, gently, opening his eyes as big as he dared, careful to mirror Dean's fingers minutely. He even subtly moved his head to the music. He was concentrating on this exhausting performance, knowing that this was a decisive moment for his life, and quite forgot about the world around him.

Dean was apparently immobile, his usually expressive face now barren of any emotions, as if he was experiencing a great shock. Castiel's confidence faded, replaced by resignation and quiet despair. His reasonableness was coming in force, scolding him for daring to dream in such a silly manner.

The conversations resumed after the last notes, hurting his mind. He got up and excused himself, saying he had to retire early to be rested for the ball and engaging Gabriel in joining him. Adam and Michael did not even turn their heads. Dean's expression was unchanged.

It was a sad walk to their bedrooms. Gabriel had taken his cue from Castiel, silent and attentive, their arms linked together in brotherly fortitude. They had almost reached Castiel's boudoir when they heard hurried steps in the corridor.

Castiel tried to walk faster, as he wished to isolate himself, but Gabriel was already turning around and let out a cry:

"Mr Winchester! I feel you are lost for this is the omega aisle. Your bedroom is on the other side of the house."

"I am aware of this and ask you to forgive me, but I need to speak to Mr Novak this instant."

Castiel was still staring at his door, unable and unwilling to acquiesce to the request, but his brother took the decision from his hands:

"In that case, I'll go and rest on that chair near the window over here. I hope you do not intend to upset Castiel just before bed time."

"I wouldn't dream of it. Mr Novak's feelings matter a great deal to me."

Castiel relented. He walked to Dean and stopped before they bumped into each other. He noticed that Dean's hand was shaking and wished he was allowed to grab it. He sighed and looked up.

Dean Winchester's eyes were now occupied by his pupils alone. The effect was so strong, Castiel's legs became weak and he had to catch Dean's elbow for support. A hand was instantly placed upon his. They stood there, unmoving and restrained for so long that Gabriel felt obliged to cough.

This took Dean out of his reverie.

"Mr Novak, I have something to ask you."

Castiel waited but realized he had to answer:

"Yes?"

"I would very much like to solicit your hand for the first two dances tomorrow night."

Dean's voice was more assured than Castiel had expected and he was grateful for it, as it gave him the strength to answer:

"While I am honored by this request, I am but worried for you, as it will prevent you from asking a more worthy omega or young woman you may meet at the ball."

Dean sighed, opened his mouth, then shut it. His reply was but a whisper:

"I do not know which stranger could compare to you in worthiness. It it me who I believe is lacking in many ways. I have failed my duty, as an alpha, to make sure you and Gabriel have at least one dancing companion, although," he bowed gallantly, "I am sure that the both of you will be sought after given your beauty."

Castiel allowed himself another brief smile.

"As you justly said, strangers rarely make good dancing partners and we have spent so much time together. I accept your request but only if you ask my brother later in the evening."

He heard Gabriel laugh. Dean looked more tranquil.

"Then, it is settled. I am looking forward to the ball and will certainly dream about it."

He was gone a few moments later, leaving a weakened, joyful Castiel and a smirking Gabe.

"It was very kind of you to include me, Cas, but I think Mr Winchester never intended to ask _me_. Unless, of course, he has questions about someone in our family, in which case, I intend to be as helpful as possible."

"Do as you wish, Gabriel. As I said before, it is time for us to retire for the night."


	8. Chapter 8

The excitement of being asked by Dean Winchester proved a powerful rival to proper rest, and if Castiel did dream, it was nothing of the foolish images one can witness during sleep but instead the very sound pictures of future domestic felicity. Dean had no fixed estate, bound to have a home where his relatives accepted him, were they his brother or his unknown father, but it was of ease for Castiel to imagine themselves settling down in a beautiful country surrounded by nature, soon surrounded by happy pups.

In truth, Dean had done anything but propose and two first dances were hardly matrimony, yet Castiel could hardly refute the implications every word had carried in their latest conversation. He studied them, refuted his interpretation, tried for other more mundane meaning, all in vain. The warmth of feelings all of this excited was proof enough that his happiness was entirely engaged on their romantic entanglement.

* * *

The next morning, his mirror shew in no uncertain way that his complexion had suffered from such restlessness. He had no other choice than to keep himself to his bed, where he would fall in deep slumber for half an hour until he woke up in confusion so many times that he hardly knew of the hour of the day. He was saved by Gabriel who took him for a walk and assured him at length that he did not wear his exhaustion on his features. His words were even more reassuring concerning Dean's regard for Castiel. The two brothers came back to the house hands in hands, laughing and merry.

Michael had been eager to establish himself in the neighborhood, so the ball was magnificent. Gabriel was looking at the grandeur with a mixed expression, looking torn between awe and anger at his father's inheritance being displayed right in front of their eyes. Castiel would have commiserated but Dean's proximity made any thought impossible. Adam was at the front, welcoming and triumphant, greeting his guests as if he had known them all his life. The original tenants were not forgotten though, as each new person introduced came to pay their respect to Mrs Novak and her sons. Samandriel was standing there too, until the time his governess would take him back to the nursery.

Gabriel's youth and good looks made him very sought after and he had soon promised all his dances, while Castiel would only dance the Boulanger with one of his oldest, most kindest neighbor. He burned with jealousy whenever a young, barely out Omega addressed Dean, trying to look away so he wouldn't witness something unpleasant. Gabriel mocked him gently.

At last, the musicians started their melody and Dean was standing by him, smart and yet shy, his eyes on Castiel as if he was the only one in the room. Even when changing partners, his focus was unbroken, which lead to a few mistakes being made at first. They soon found their harmony, their gestures easy, their feet mirroring each other. It was as though a bond had been formed, linking their every moves.

When the dances were over, Dean went to look for refreshments and stayed chatting with him. No one came to claim him, which was of great relief. They observed the other dancers, spotting Gabriel:

"Your brother is assuredly as good a dancer as a musician."

"That is true. Gabriel is not a hard worker, but he tends to excel in anything that require passion and feelings. He tends to lose himself in it."

"No one would think that about you. You are very level-headed and composed. It is admirable."

Castiel blushed at the compliment, waiting for more. Dean did not disappoint:

"I am always admiring of omegas' strength of character. We alphas are allowed much weaknesses and tend to indulge much. Compared to us, your lot are but angels."

Castiel's smile lessened as he examined the words. He reflected for a while:

"It is pleasurable to be called strong but admiration can come at a price. Even angels hurt or want. Being put on a pedestal can be harmful to our freedom of feelings and their intensity."

Dean bowed and extended his hand:

"I only wished to express my own feelings but your point is quite important too. I shall keep it in mind. Would you do me the honor of standing by me for the next two dances?"

"With pleasure," Castiel said with absolute honesty, "but pray do not dance with just the one partner this evening, Adam will never forgive you for this lack of manners."

Dean smirked and grabbed Castiel's elbow. They danced with the same focus, talking as much as they could, gazing when they couldn't. It was heavenly.

Dean did follow Castiel's advice and asked a young mated woman to dance, sending a clear message that made Cas happy to be sitting down. Gabriel was next, conversing with Dean very seriously even though the dance was quite fast.

Finally, they met again for the Allemande. Castiel had dreaded and wished it equally. The closeness and physical connection it allowed was almost unbearable when it was with Dean as a partner. The desire to mate was seizing him, rendering his vision red on the edges. He could smell his desire as well as Dean's. In his heart, he knew this was the right moment. He took Dean to the antechamber and whispered:

"Dean, I am ready. Will you mate me?"

All fear and uncertainties were gone in that moment he was giving himself in. Dean breathed sharply, his pupils wide, his smell pungent. He opened his mouth and shattered everything:

"I can't."


	9. Chapter 9

Castiel could not hear Dean's response at first. It seemed that his mind was inhabited by a fire so great that any awareness was impossible. In truth, his whole body was altered, affected by the mere presence of the alpha. Michael could have been standing next to them and he would have still uttered the same wanton words.

When he did understand, though, Dean's words filled him with a pain he didn't know could exist. He tried to paint it as a lie his ears had produced but sadly, there was no mistaking the broken look in Dean's eyes. Castiel knew the fruitlessness of arguing yet he still cried:

"Of course we can, Dean. Mating is a sacred institution between omega and alpha, far superior to marriage. You can not be afraid of it not being honorable."

But Dean was shaking his head, his fingers opening and closing in what felt like distress:

"I know of all of this, Castiel, I assure you and pray, do not feel for one moment that I deem you unworthy as a companion. I have the highest respect for you and I hope that you will find a much better alpha to mate with, one who will feel that you are his whole world. Unfortunately that alpha cannot be me."

This second better worded rejection made Cas take a step back. In the midst of his despair, he was gathering the strength to collect himself. He had barely managed to breathe evenly again when they heard some voices approaching. Adam came in first, his condition even more apparent as he staggered angrily, soon followed by an equally enraged Gabriel.

"... expected you to behave! You are bringing ridicule and shame on our family!"

"Shame? Because I dare enjoy dancing?"

"It was indecent!"

Gabriel turned to Castiel, as if he had always knew he was there, to ask:

"Should I enter the convent then, to appease Adam? He sounds line nothing else will do!"

Castiel was certain he had given a steady, reasonable answer, before following his brother, stumbling in his haste of getting away from Dean. The alpha was looking away, his jaw stiff, showing in a physical way this time how much he must have detested Castiel's proposition.

Castiel fought his own body that night until he had it under absolute control, then tried to do the same with his emotions. He could not believe how erroneous his perception of Dean's regard had been. He now realized how unguarded and imprudent he had been, when his life had been reined by reason and discipline, a state he did not know if he could experience again.

He had happily reached three-and-twenty without ever falling in love, wondering at times if such wonderful feelings would be an improvement for his existence and was now convinced they were not. Each time he would close his eyes, the picture of Dean looking at him while they danced tortured him. His heart was so much in pain that he felt taking the organ out of his chest would be an sensible improvement.

He went for his walk the next morning, ate breakfast with Gabe and Michael and help temper their discussions with absolute diplomacy. His mother did not notice any alteration in his character, nor did anyone else. When Dean entered the room for tea, Castiel was able to continue conversing and fill cups without letting him enter his field of vision.

He did not hear him either, until Adam commented:

"You are very quiet Dean. I swear I have never seen you so distracted. Have you heard of bad news? Is our father unwell?"

Dean's voice was so changed, Castiel barely recognized it.

"Nothing of the sort, Adam. I have not received any words from Father. I admit to being distracted and will endeavor to entertain you more seriously."

"La! What a strange expression, Dean. I would not want to keep you indoor when your spirit is so restless. Why don't you go to the orchard. Castiel walks there every day and I suspect it is key to his everlasting presence of mind."

Castiel smiled politely at this, suppressing the sigh of relief when Dean followed his brother's advice and left the room. He made sure to talk often but it seemed that his supply of steadfastness was coming to an end and he had to excuse himself from company, pretexting the exhaustion from the ball.

He had barely sat on his favorite bench, when a voice took him out of his reveries.

"Castiel, may I speak to you?"

"I do not see what good it would make. I have been imprudent and presumptuous yesterday. I believe it would be better to forget about it."

Dean sat next to him and replied with urgency:

"I did not mean to bring up such distressing memories, believe me. There is something I wish to divulge to you of which I think is of great importance."

Nothing but the greatest fortitude had Castiel remain where he was. He expected Dean to pity him or talk about dowries and rank, so he was quite shocked when he heard:

"I am already mated."

"I beg your pardon?"

"I have a son. His name is Ben."

If the earth beneath Castiel had opened up and swallowed him, he would have felt as injured. He wanted to tell Dean to stop his confidence but it was not to be:

"I met Lisa when I was in school. She is of poor extraction so our mating would not be accepted by my father."

"Have you not told him? That is a stunning news."

"I wished to wait at first, until I could get my father to approve of the match, but then Lisa and I grew distant of each other. She does not wish for me to be a part of Ben's life."

Castiel was incapable of naming all the emotions he was experiencing during this conversation. He answered prudently:

"I am surprised that no one in your immediate family is aware of this fact."

"I have kept it secret. If this was known, such a scandalous connection would not only affect me but also anyone close. You know very well that a child seals the mating indefinitely. I must remain celibate for the rest of my life."

"And this pains you."

"Not seeing my own son is a greater affliction. It was only yesterday that I realized that I could experience personal regrets too. No words can express my sorrow..."

Dean was looking at the ground which left time for Castiel to regain a suitable countenance. His head was hurting and his hands were heavy but his voice did not betray him:

"I feel compassion for your misfortune but alas, my own situation is of importance too. My mother has long adjourned finding us a new home and I dare say the time has come. I will not be in your sight for much longer, you can be assured."

He got up and left his dreams and hearts on the bench behind him, along with a sad-looking Mr Winchester.


	10. Chapter 10

However hasty Castiel wanted their departure to be, nothing material made it possible for the next fortnight. He had a talk with his mother, expressing his desire to start anew and while she looked surprised, kept respectful of his privacy in a way that made him grateful for her discretion. He also appreciated the fact that they needed to spend a prodigious amount of time locked away in the writing room, far away from the rest of the family.

Propriety was unavoidable, so he did have to attend breakfast. He wished with all his heart that Dean would not, yet every day, here he was, on the far side of the table, helping himself to rolls, butter and honey, which raised hilarity from his little brother:

"An alpha eating only sweet things? I cannot believe my eyes. Don't you need sausages or black pudding to strengthen your blood?"

"I would not object to kidney pie Adam, but otherwise, I'll eat whatever pleases me. Is it not one of the privileges of us Alphas, after all?"

"Not if other alphas are mocking your habits, Dean. Michael tells me how embarrassed he is when he has gentlemen over and you won't touch the brandy."

"I do not drink alcohol. You know that."

"You ought to make an effort. I was talking to Father about you and we both agree that you are not distinguishing yourself enough for your standing. The only hope we have left is that you make an advantageous mating."

Dean looked down at his plate at this, concentrating on his fork and knife. Castiel felt a pang of sorrow that he could not be sure appertained to his own feelings or to Dean's ones. He kept a steady countenance and worked his way through breakfast as quickly as he could without being too ostentatious.

He also met Dean in corridors and around the estate, as well as meal times and soon, a pattern emerged. He never saw his eyes. Dean was always turned or looking away and Castiel did not know if he was more hurt or more relieved at that behavior. He would weep every evening before bed and wake up in the morning feeling sore and unwell as his body betrayed his determination not to yearn after Dean.

Finally, his torment was alleviated by a letter bringing promising news. One of his mother's old acquaintance, a Mrs Harvelle, who was now a widow and living in a house much too big for her, would be happy to accommodate them and make them feel welcomed. The happiness Castiel felt was overwhelming. His own comfort was not as important as his little brothers and here was a way to have a roof over their heads. His mother was not as cheerful for what she perceived as pity, yet beggars could not be choosers.

Little Samandriel was overwhelmed by the news. Castiel took him out for a walk to help calm him down and even managed to get him excited about this new adventure. Gabriel looked ready to burst and admitted to his need to be as far away from his half-brother as possible:

"Otherwise, I might say something regrettable. He will not help us with anything or offer any money and we are his blood!"

"Only half."

"The other half must be poisoned then. The only person I will regret from this place is Dean. I told him he should visit as soon as possible but he said his father needed him in London and he did not know for how long. I am sure he'll find a way, though," Gabe added, winking at Castiel who refrained from sighing.

"We do not have time to chatter any more. There is packing to do."

The journey was uneventful. The deliverance Castiel was expecting did not happen. Instead, his heart grew heavy and his head became occupied with one unique person. He accepted this sad state of affairs as he had accepted all the rest and focused on his family's needs.

* * *

Mrs Helen Harvelle was a very rich woman, indeed. She had one daughter who had married the year before with an alpha that lived in another province. Another widower was living here, a gentleman named Colonel Robert Singer. He barely acknowledged their presence before going hunting. Mrs Harvelle laughed loudly at his back:

"Such a sullen fellow! He has a heart of gold but he tries to hide it," she turned to look at Castiel and his siblings, "Well, what a pair of nice-looking young omegas you have here, Jane! Do they ride? I have many horses that would love to be taken on walks."

"Oh, only Gabriel does. Castiel is more of a walker."

"Perfect," Mrs Harvelle bellowed, "I shall ride alongside him, then. Be ready early in the morning, young man."

"Of course, Mrs Harvelle." Gabriel was beaming.

"Stop this nonsense and call me Helen. I shall not have my guests be on such a formal standing."

Castiel was horrified by this astonishing attitude and fled to the library. It was enormous and held many strange books about myths, but in a small corner, he found novels and remembered the last one he read. He lost himself in one, feeling somewhat connected to his past self, as well as the Dean he had though he knew then.


	11. Chapter 11

The most immediate change the Novak family experienced in their new residence was how much more importance they were given. Helen had discovered Gabriel's musical talents and instantly asked for evening performances. She also made sure Samandriel was given the best care and a good governess.

She even asked them all for their tastes in food. Castiel and his mother had tried in vain to answer that they were sure anything would please them and not to put any burden on the cook, Helen had been insistent, dismissing the notion that they did not matter. It was a very strange experience for Castiel who was used to his status and the idea that alphas were more important than him, whoever they were. Colonel Singer was an alpha and he was the one saying the most uplifting things as if by mistake. When Gabriel ended his first melody, he coughed and said:

"I haven't heard such a good execution since the war. You remind me of a Lieutenant's sister. She was trying to charm me."

"And it did not work?" Gabriel asked with a smile.

"We were happily mated for thirty years. She passed away five years ago."

The compliment was enormous and cleverly presented so as not to allow Gabe to thank him properly. So, he just played another more intricate song, losing himself in the intense feelings he always experienced in these moments.

Castiel was a more moderate lover of music, so after a moment, his eyes drifted around the room and the entrance to the corridor. He thought he could see a figure standing in the dark, listening to Gabriel's performance. It could not be a servant as none of them would wear a hood indoors. Castiel frowned and watched more closely. He was not sure he could believe his eyes' statement. Maybe the corridor was empty. Maybe he was still missing Dean and wishing he was there.

The next night, the colonel was not at dinner. Castiel inquired after him but Helen was not very open in her response, which puzzled him greatly.

"Oh, he's at another house. I presume he will be here again tomorrow. He likes you. He says you are 'down-to-earth and practical'," she smiled, "which I assure you is not a flaw in his eyes."

Castiel did not care very much to be only praised for his dependability but he did not debate the point.

* * *

For the next week, Castiel wondered if he was being influenced by Gabriel's passionate and imaginative ways, for he could have sworn a spirit of some kind was crossing their paths repeatedly. He caught glimpses of the same silhouette he had seen that night. It would vanish in the shadows whenever he tried to ascertain its nature.

One evening, there was some salmon on the menu, something Gabriel had a strong penchant for. Helen sounded surprised as she had let the colonel order the courses.

"I did not even know this kind of fish was in my kitchens."

"It wasn't, it's a gift from Colonel Campbell."

The Novaks lifted their head in unison, all eager to learn about this unknown party. Gabriel was the one to ask:

"Pray, who is this Campbell character? It is but the first time I hear him mentioned."

Colonel Singer fidgeted with his fork but he had to relent:

"We were in the same regiment in the West Indies. It shook him quite a bit. He lives retired from the world now."

Castiel gently pushed his brother's elbow to have him stop smiling widely. Of course, he understood what an impression such a tragic story made on the young omega. He was more prudent about the idea. Rich men rarely left society without strong reasons and he did not care to hear about those.

Castiel still had not confesses to his lie about horse riding and so he only went for walks with his brother.

Gabriel was healing from their previous hardship thanks to the vigour of youth and had his mind occupied with the mysterious Colonel Campbell.

He was in the middle of exposing one of his most ridiculous theories about him one day, when he tripped and broke his ankle. They had walked quite far away that day and Castiel was not strong enough to carry his brother all the way through. He deeply regretted the absence of a horse and got angry with himself for his lies. He swore to tell Helen about his deception, although this did not change their present predicament.

He thought about running home by his own to search help but disliked the idea of leaving Gabriel all by himself in a country he was not well acquainted with. They had reached a fork in the road and stopped to let Gabriel rest when they heard the sounds of a horse's hooves. A rich-looking alpha was approaching them. Castiel felt desperate and called him.

The man immediately dismounted and introduced himself:

"My name is Lucifer. I reside in Heaven Hall, my grandmother's house. May I be of assistance?"

Finally, Gabriel was rescued and laid down in bed. He was in great pain but was distracted from it by the great need he felt to regale his mother with the description of the 'fair, tall, handsome alpha' they had just met. Even Castiel's quiet remarks that : "He seems quite older than us" was met with a disparaging wave of the hand. Castiel smiled to himself as he took notice that his little brother's pantaloons were a little wet. It looked like Gabriel was prone to fall in love in less than a few hours.


	12. Chapter 12

Gabriel was quite vexed to be confined to his bed and would not let Castiel leave him on his own. It required some caresses and promises to tell him all about his outing, for him to be allowed to leave their common bedroom.

Once he was free of his movements, he went in search of his hostess. The butler, a kind elderly Omega, directed him to the stables, warning him about the mud, as it had rained heavily the night before.

Castiel thanked him and found his way outside just as a visitor was descending from his horse. He looked exactly like their rescuer and indeed, when their eyes met, Castiel was able to recognize him. He wondered idly if such a young, energetic Alpha was calling at this early hour because he was in such friendly terms with Helen and Colonel Singer, or if he was intrigued and excited to meet someone as young and lively as Gabriel, a rarity in the neighborhood.

"Mr Lucifer," he cried, "I am happy to see you for I get to thank you for your help again."

"Mr Novak, there is nothing to thank me for. I did what any Alpha ought to do. I do hope your brother is feeling better?"

"His ankle is sprained so he must stay in bed but nothing worse, thankfully."

"I'm glad to hear that," and after a quick bow, the Alpha entered the house.

Castiel was left marveling at his charming, cheerful manners. He could certainly see why he had all of Gabriel's attention but also reflected on the fact that, to him, those where not the qualities he would want in a companion. Thoughtfulness and a quiet countenance were of much greater importance in his eyes, as proof of maturity and kindness. The only Alpha he knew who met this description was of course Mr Winchester and Castiel scolded himself for allowing the man to enter his memories again. He endeavored to occupy his time in order to suppress the pain he could still feel inside his heart.

To his great relief, Mrs Harvelle accepted his confession with a laugh and immediately found him a horse to mount. She could not accompany him, she was sorry to say, but Castiel was quick to declare he would be happy to ride on his own that morning. He was still melancholic and wished to calm his spirits before rejoining the house.

The ride proved a good distraction, as the change in transport meant that he went much further than he had ever been and he was soon lost in his admiration for the landscape.

The mare proved easy to stir, although, as she was more accustomed to the country than he was, there were times when she took things in hooves and decide where they should go. On one of these occasions, there were passing a very fine house, which was partially hidden from view by a garden whose unkempt state stood in sharp contrast to the rest. The horse took upon itself to venture in a small path near the river, allowing Castiel to experience the property from a different perspective and while it could not be called grand, it had a definite beauty, with a potential for an even more harmonious look.

The mare led them to a clump of birch trees where it came to a full stop and started grazing, refusing to obey any hint at moving again. Castiel patted her crest, his eyes on the calm waters, when he caught a movement on his left. He noticed a small bench under the trees, on which was seated a dark figure he recognized as the one he had caught glimpses of for the past few weeks. Not being of a superstitious nature, he used the opportunity to study it more closely and for a longer time.

The impression he had entertained earlier of it being a spirit came from the fact that the stranger's face was shrouded in dark in what he now recognized as the hood of a traveling cloak. Underneath he spotted well-worn clothing of good quality. The stranger turned his head to look at him at the exact moment Castiel was coming to the comprehension that this might be the owner of the estate he was intruding on. He felt quite embarrassed and tried to spur the horse into walking, which she did agree to, allowing him to escape.

"Dear Omega, you do not need to flee, I would very much welcome a conversation," a tired voice cried.

Castiel turned and saw the hood being lowered to reveal a handsome Alpha with a very thin face and long brown hair. He was contemplating the lack of propriety this gentleman wanted him to agree to, but then heard his own name uttered:

"I am not mistaken in believing you to be Mr Novak who resided at my friend's house ? Colonel Singer has told me a lot about you."

This soothed Castiel's concern and he stopped and dismounted his horse. The Alpha rosed and bowed:

"Colonel Campbell, at your service," and while his manners were correct, there was still a feeling of weariness all around his person and address.

"I am Castiel Novak, as you correctly surmised. I have heard your name before but any knowledge you may have about me is not reciprocated."

"Then would you accompany me to my home? I believe my cook has made delicious biscuits that may tempt you."

"This would be more appealing to my brother, who has a sweet tooth, but I would be delighted to make your acquaintance."

He was very pleased to get to know the Colonel, who proved to be a well-read Alpha, with commendable opinions that made him interested in the pursuit of a friendship. No courting was offered, which he greatly appreciated. Colonel Campbell admitted to have already crossed his path, but being of a reclusive nature, he had preferred to remove himself. Castiel was attentive not to ask why such a wealthy young man would behave in such a manner and neither did he propose to bring someone else from their family. They parted on very good terms.

He was greeted at home by a glowing Gabriel who related Mr Lucifer's visit in detail, including the type of buttons he wore on his vest. Castiel smiled and listened, feeling more content that he had been earlier. Being dependent on other people's generosity may not be an agreeable feeling, but he had still found some kind of peace in this land.

* * *

He became an irregular visitor to the Colonel and was one day very surprised when Mrs Harvelle read them an invitation to dine at his house that was directed to the whole of them. Helen sounded amazed at this turn of event and urged Colonel Singer to divulge some of his friend's past to help them understand their neighbour better. He reluctantly agreed.

"As I said before, we fought together. There are things in wars that sheltered women and Omega do not hear about that are extremely upsetting."

Mrs Harvelle did not seem to enjoy the sheltered wording but did not interrupt him. He went on:

"He searched ways to forget about these matters using certain herbs, but in doing so, altered his health and well-being. I will not say anything further but know that the Colonel is a weary soul. He needs not be talked at too much and too thoughtlessly," he was frowning at this, but smiled at Castiel as if he knew that he was already accepted by his friend.

In the meantime, Lucifer had been calling on many occasions and he told them that he was also invited by their secretive neighbour.

"This comes as a shock. I have barely talked three words to the Colonel and now he wants me for supper. I'll be sure to observe as much as I can and hope to discuss it later with you, dear friend." This last sentence was directed at Gabriel who smiled knowingly. Castiel felt protective of his new friend against such scrutiny and intended to speak up if any mockery was to arise.

He was quite merry when he called on the Colonel the morning before the intended reception. As he approached the library where he always found his friend, he heard him argue with someone else:

"I still think you should be straightforward with him. What would be the worst outcome?"

"He could throw me out in the street. I do depend entirely on him."

"Then I would welcome you here."

There was a pause, although Castiel's ears were not sure there was silence, as he heard the frantic beatings of his heart. This had sounded a lot like Mr Winchester's voice. He dearly wished it wasn't.

"I could not endure his disappointment, Sam. He is my father."

"And until you stop thinking that way, he has you in his power..."

The door was forcibly opened just next to Castiel who found himself face to face with Dean.


	13. Chapter 13

For a wonderful few seconds, Castiel was actually forgetful of any piece of information he had gathered about Dean Winchester. All that remained was the knowledge of his own feelings, perfectly reflected on Dean Winchester's face. At that very moment, he was nothing but delighted at seeing him.

Sadly, this wonderful state would not last any longer and soon the realities of their situation came back to him, changing the happiness into dejection, without any loss in strength of feelings. He feared he was about to faint and only managed not to do so by placing his hand on the wall. Dean was still looking elated, his own hand reaching out in support when he suddenly seemed to remember himself and withdrew it.

Pain was all they were left with up until Colonel Campbell joined them in the hallway. If he was surprised at their postures, he did not shew it, nor asked any question. Instead, he started to introduce them.

Dean quickly interrupted and bowed to Castiel with grace:

"I do have the immense pleasure of already being acquainted with Mr Novak, Sam." and his voice was barely trembling.

"Really? That is quite fortunate as he is to dine with us tonight, along with Helen and Bobby."

Castiel would never had dreamed of calling Colonel Singer that way. The connection between the two men must have been of extreme importance for them to be on such equal footing even though Colonel Campbell was so young.

Dean smiled at this, in a more guarded way than a moment earlier and asked:

"May I ask if Mrs Novak and Gabriel will be present too, for I rejoice at meeting them again so soon."

"They will, sir," Castiel said, his voice finally back. Dean's eyes were directed at his, never faltering in their focus. He did not know if what he wanted the most was to run away or to stay here forever.

Colonel Campbell distracted him with another inquiry:

"If Dean is looking forward to seeing your family, it gives me assurance that those are people of the best company. My brother and I may not see eye to eye about a lot of things, but I value his judgment."

"Your brother?" Castiel cried, forgetting himself so great was his surprise.

"Yes, indeed, although I do understand he would not mention me to strangers."

Sam looked quite resigned and weary as he said this, but Dean immediately turned his head to him and started to say:

"Sam, I would never..."

At the same moment, Castiel was also talking, driven by his own recollections:

"I was merely misled by your different surnames. Dean has mentioned a brother he considered a real friend." Castiel did not add that, at the time, he had thought this to be about Adam. This made much more sense, given that he had not noticed any strong brotherly attachment between Dean and his brother-in-law.

Sam seemed pleased by the remark:

"Thank you, Castiel. As it happens, I had a quarrel with our father and left his protection. My mother's father, with whom I share a first name, took me under his wing and adopted me so I took his full name. This house was his."

This was a lot of informations to be hearing and make sense of. Fortunately, the Colonel led him and Dean to the sitting room for a cup of tea that was very welcomed. Castiel had first came to the mansion to discuss the dinner with the Colonel but he was now desirous to leave as fast as propriety would allow it.

He was back at the door on his way out when he was stopped by Dean's voice:

"Castiel!"

His body turned around before he could think, the desperation in Dean's tone making him obey. He took a step towards Dean and stood there defenseless.

"I... I do not wish to intrude upon any happiness you may have found in this land, Castiel. I will take leave of Sam tomorrow, I promise you."

"I do not ask for such a promise Mr Winchester. The Colonel is your brother and from what you say, the person you feel the closest to. It would be cruel from me to ask you to leave."

"You are a generous nature, Castiel. I sometimes think..." Dean's voice faltered and he did not finish his sentence. Instead, he shook his hand and the gesture was so intimate Castiel's breath became uneven. Once again, the idea of mating invaded his mind, in all its impropriety and marvel. His eyes traveled to places they should not see, which is why he noticed that Dean was wearing a new necklace. He had always liked the first one, shaped like an ancient sign, but this one was holding a pendant. One of Dean's erratic movement had opened it and inside where two miniatures. With a start, he recognized one as Colonel Campbell and the other as himself.

Dean followed his gaze and blushed. His fingers awkwardly shut the pendant and he left the hall in a hurry, leaving a stunned Castiel in his wake.

* * *

The night was quite cold, so it took a while for Gabriel and Cas to take their cloaks off when they entered Colonel's Campbell's house. Dean was not in sight but his brother was there, looking grave and yet welcoming. He came to Gabriel's rescue when the latter fought with his buttons and the two started an easy conversation about the beauty of autumn and dead leaves. Castiel, who was quite indifferent to it waited in silence with his mother. They were the first guests to arrive as Helen and Colonel Singer each had errands to run.

Thus, Mrs Novak was the first to notice Dean and while she was a little guarded in deference to her son, she still greeted the Alpha with all the marks of good humour. Castiel tried to put on his most social expression but he knew he could not fool Dean. They were sat next to each other as they waited for the rest of the company and each looked everywhere else but at the object of their affection. This allowed Castiel to notice the peculiar color on Gabe's cheek as he talked with the Colonel, until, at least, Mr Lucifer was announced.


	14. Chapter 14

The dinner at Colonel Campbell's was an event that was much talked about in the Harvelle's household afterward.

Mrs Novak reflected on her shock when Helen and Bobby shook hands and even tapped the shoulders of their hosts. There had been no bowing, no protocol and yet, she admitted with graceful relief, nothing uncouth or uncomfortable had occurred. She marveled at the feeling of familiarity between the neighbours, wondering about their past connections and showing all the signs of a curious person who did not wish to lower herself to gossip.

Helen herself was still surprised at the change in the Colonel's reclusive habits. Upon learning of the new friendship between him and Castiel, she was certain that she had found the reason and hinted heavily about Castiel having a new house to live in and of merry tomorrows that would have been funny if she had not been talking about Dean's own brother.

Gabriel had been the most enthusiastic about the dinner, that was so grand and tasty, the house, that was so well decorated, the gardens that were so romantic and untamed, the Colonel who could see the beauty that lied in nature and mostly of his delight in meeting Mr Winchester again and how devoted to his brother he still was and how many times he had looked at him and so on. It was a torture for Castiel, testing his patience to the point where he decided to start a new knitting project, with a complicated pattern that would require all his attention whenever he needed an escape.

Lucifer was also ready to give his opinion, all witty and designed to make them all laugh.

"Now", he exclaimed at some point, "Colonel Campbell has some fine horses and great dogs but he does not seem to understand the idea of exercising them. I asked him if we could go hunting together and he said he never does. Who heard of such thing! What would our mornings be in the country if it were not for shooting birds and then tell all of you omegas and ladies of our many exploits in the sport."

Castiel knew the reason very well but did not wish to tall Lucifer about the Colonel's past. He focused on his needles, intent on working faster.

"I don't know," Gabriel replied with a strange new tone in his voice, "if I would say that hunting is the mark of a gentleman. The Colonel is well read and he has intriguing views. A thorough education is as important and defines breeding so much more. I was quite interested when he explained why he had bought one of his paintings."

Castiel could not refrain his smile and looked up to see Lucifer's stunned expression. The alpha rallied quickly:

"Education is indeed everything. It is the basis of conversations and wit, but one should not always be somber and serious about life. It is important to be well developed in all areas instead of using all of one's time to study with the intention, I am sure, of making others feel wanting."

He said all of this with such a light intonation, such a charming smile, that his laugh at the end did not make them feel he was mocking the Colonel, yet Gabriel did not rally:

"The Colonel has seen dark times. I may be too young to understand them but I respect that one may turn to introspection. It is well known that real artists have to go through hardships in order to create masterpieces after all."

"Do you think Colonel Campbell is an artist?"

"I have not heard such a thing, no. But I do see him as someone who has learned to look at life in a meaningful way. Do you not agree that it is something to respect?"

Lucifer was not happy with this conversation and soon talked about his organizing a picnic. He was certain that the weather would comply and that they could all gather in his grandmother's estate in high spirits:

"I could certainly find my old kite in the attic. What do you think?"

"A kite? Oh, what a merry idea! I have always loved kites."

At the end of Lucifer's visit, the whole picnic idea had been explored and exclaimed about. Gabriel had expressed his hoped that Mr Winchester would still be staying at his brother's at the time so he could accompany him and Castiel was sure he saw Lucifer's countenance darken at the names. He pondered whether this jealous feelings were about the man's ego or if he was protective of Gabriel's attention.

* * *

A picnic was of course such a complex thing to organize that it took a fortnight before it could be held. In the meantime, the invitation to dinner was returned and thus Dean was to enter Castiel's life again.

He was quite resigned now, intent to at least take pleasure in looking at him instead of adverting his eyes as he had done at the mansion. He would then be miserable later, but with nicer memories.

Dean seemed determined to be attentive to everyone, showing his affection to both his old and new friends, and he went so far as start a conversation, with Castiel only, about music they both liked. His hand did slip at some point, accidently brushing Castiel's and they both blushed but kept on talking evenly. It was a tolerable evening.

At least, until the next day, when Helen told them Dean had left for the city on orders from his father.


	15. Chapter 15

Gabriel's anticipation of happiness at the idea of the picnic was his preferred subject for the week preceding it. Castiel did not wish to deny his enjoyment but he was in very much want of more varied conversations. Their mother was indulging his brother and listened to his raptures with a smile and even Helen had been persuaded to be enthusiastic, so much so that she had written to her daughter to invite her and her husband to the event. Bobby was always outside, hunting, and brought home the news that Colonel Campbell was unwell and needed rest and quiet.

So, Castiel was left to either stay home and hear the same things repeated over and over, or retreat outside to take walks, or ride around the country. This would have been fine activities before, yet solitude proved a fickle friend. His mind was refusing any semblance of control and kept displaying any interaction he had had with Dean. No matter what distraction he could find in the countryside, he could not help wonder if Mr Winchester would like what he saw, and what expression he had the last time they had met, and did it mean that his feelings for Castiel were as strong as Castiel's? The whole experience was exhausting, filling his heart with many different emotions without any pauses. He was getting frightened that this would last for the rest of his life and such a prospect was more and more dispiriting.

Fortunately, Sam Campbell's health improved and he sent a servant to fetch him. Castiel was very happy to spend time with his friend, even though seeing him brought even more memories of his brother. They spent the morning talking, then bid each other good-bye until the picnic.

* * *

The day of the event was strangely not doomed with bad weather. In fact, the sky was clear, the sun was pleasantly warm and a light breeze made the use of a kite a definite possibility. Gabriel was pretending that his excitement about it was on behalf of little Samandriel, who was running on the lawn with the other children, but Castiel was well aware that this was one of those time when the difference in age between them showed. In some aspects, Gabriel was still a child.

Lucifer was being a good host and his grandmother had made an appearance but Castiel was mostly engrossed in a new set of people, the Miltons. Joanna was Helen's daughter and dressed and walked in the same manner as her mother, making Castiel envious of such confidence and strength. Her husband was named Balthazar and was a very strange alpha. It was impossible to predict his behavior or retorts, yet he had a charming smile that took everyone by surprise. They had been taken to the stables and there was now a lively discussion about Lucifer's mare and whether she was a better horse than any of Mrs Harvelle's, while the outdoor table was being set.

Large white sheets had been laid on the grass for the guests to sit around and Castiel was tempted to be the first to settle but he decided on being social and listened to the dispute with feigned interest. He did love horses and riding but did not care about anything competitive and so, his attention was unequal. He looked around to see if Colonel Campbell had finally arrived and in doing so met Balthazar Milton's eyes:

"You are a quiet one, Mr Novak. I believe I've heard more words from that little child brother of yours than from your person. Do you find us tedious?"

"On the contrary, Mr Milton," Castiel answered with a smile, "I am only waiting for a friend and my eagerness to see him is making me quite impolite I'm afraid."

"Well, impoliteness is sometimes a more interesting choice. I do not have your sweet disposition and I have to say I wish for the meal to be already there."

"Such a position against decorum is quite shocking. You are at risk of being the subject of indignation from our neighbours."

"Oh, in that case, I will tell you the truth. I. Don't. Care."

Castiel could not help laughing at such bizarre a statement. The man reminded him a lot of the poor teacher who had taught him about Omeganess, although poor would not have suited Mr Milton, who was a man of fashion. He was about to answer in jest when he noticed a silhouette hiding under the trees, a few feet away. Mr Milton followed his gaze and started waving. His wife interrupted her debate and started doing the presentations:

"Mother, this is our neighbour, Beth. She is a very sweet widow, raising a child on her own and we felt she deserved a change of scenery. I am certain you will all love her."

The young woman was indeed beautiful but quite reserved, although this could be because of the luxuries around her. She sat next to the Colonel and Castiel but did not participate in their conversation, even when they inquired about her. Her answers were short and soft and she did not look up even once. Castiel did not mind such a temperament, but something in her felt contrived. He decided to reserve his opinion until she shew her character in a clearer way.

As it happened, Castiel did not spent any more time with the newcomers. Gabriel requested his help in entertaining the children and this took all afternoon. When it was time to leave, the brothers walked back to the house and found the Colonel in deep conversation with Beth. There was nothing shy or indecisive about her smiles and expressions this time. Castiel idly wondered if Sam was returning the interest or if he was just being as alpha and attentive as he was with everyone else. He turned to his brother and saw him looking thoughtfully in the same direction.

"That is a very pretty lady," Castiel said prudently.

"Very pretty indeed. She must have been quite a young mother, or maybe she has the advantage of an exceptionally fair complexion." Gabriel's tone was measured but Castiel did note a certain terseness that gave him food for thoughts.

* * *

In fact, Gabriel's mood underwent a severe change for the next weeks. He took to reading sad poems and maying only melancholic songs. Lucifer visited often and the two spent most of their time in a remote corner, whispering and ignoring the others. His mother had to remind Gabriel of social obligations many times, but it only prompted him to disappear more, taking plates of sweets with him. Castiel was at loss to what was happening to his brother's heart and endeavored to distract him and be supportive without prying. Gabriel was grateful but still quiet about his affairs.

Again, Castiel found himself lonely, without his brother's company or his friend's, as Sam had taken a trip to London. He wrote to Castiel many times, describing his quarters and his encounters with Dean, but did not once give the reason for his trip and while Castiel was very happy that the young alpha had left his reclusive habits behind, he felt more accurately the hindrance of having meager means as he wished to visit his friend in London too. He did not dwell on whether he would like to visit someone else, as his heart was so full of him, he did not need any more reflections about it.


	16. Chapter 16

In opposition to their guest, the elusive and quiet Beth, The Miltons were a loud addition to the household. They did not follow any of the rules society asked in the home, such as respecting hierarchy and parentage, or avoiding sensitive matters. Castiel was thus subjected to conversations about his romantic prospects that made him want the floor to open under his chair:

"Gabriel is such a pretty omega", Balthazar was saying to their mother, "but he does not seem to be quick in finding a mate. Waiting to do so is not a wise option as I'm sure you know."

"I believe you are mistaken. Gabriel is not older than seventeen. It is still a tender age, where one's personality and preferences emerge in bouts, and good judgment is yet to be found. A decision that affect the rest of your life cannot be taken lightly, don't you agree?"

"Oh, I could not. I chose my wife based solely on her financial expectations, which were easy to learn about. Otherwise, why waste time in getting to know each other?"

His mother looked so offended that Castiel was quick to interject:

"Mr Milton has a peculiar sense of humour, I'm afraid. He does not tell the truth about his marriage, but rather utters statements that he knows will shock us."

This caught the alpha's attention upon Castiel:

"Mr Novak, you are my superior when it comes to understanding people, that is a fact. I bowtyo your knowledge in the subject but I am wondering if this intellectual pursuit did not lead to a sever lacking in other areas. For instance, here you are unmated and bitter in the prime of your years..."

The attack was so violent, Castiel could not make any response. Yet, help was granted from an unexpected ally:

"Mr Novak may be a few years older than me, but I disagree that he does not have prospects any more. In a quieter way than Gabriel, he is very desirable as a companion to any alpha who wishes good company and discussions." Jo said, turning form conversation with her mother.

"I thank you for your kind and generous words, ma'am."

Jo let out an unladylike laugh:

"Your tone suggests that I am implying you are very plain. You are mistaken if that is the case. Even Balthy here must admit that, of all the inhabitants of this house, you are the one most fortunate when it comes to form and features.

"If you compare him to Colonel Singer, that may be so" Mr Milton muttered, but a frown from Jo made him add : "All right, Castiel is supremely handsome, but what good is it to him if he is to stay here, surrounded by us happy married folks?"

His last words did not sound happy in the slightest, nevertheless they seemed to appease his wife, who then turned to Helen and cried:

"Indeed! We shall all go to London, Mama. I'm sure you can spare both Castiel and Gabriel, and we have our protegee, so they can entertain each others. I will take them to every ball and tea party, they won't have a moment of rest."

The perspective of such a restless arrangement was not in Castiel's taste, but he saw his mother react positively to the idea. It was true that Gabriel was in need of a more varied set. Also, this would take them to London, where Dean resided. Castiel was well aware that this was punishment rather than reward, but his heart was delighted. He still talked with his mother for a long time and she made him agree to go when she pointed out he would be the only responsible person there and she would feel much more tranquil if he were to accompany his brother.

Gabriel was surprised by the offer and grateful. He asked Lucifer if he would be staying in the country for much longer, to which the alpha replied that he was sure to return to the city in a matter of weeks. Castiel wondered if maybe Lucifer did not feel equal to the idea of Gabriel being out in the world where other rich alphas could become his admirers.

* * *

The journey was uneventful. Gabriel was engrossed in a book, Mr Milton was riding at the top of the carriage "to be away from the whole of you" as he elegantly said, and Jo and Beth were murmuring to each other. Castiel had to admit that his tendency to search reason above anything else made his life more solitary that he could bare. Jo seemed to appreciate him but never sought conversation. Before, he had his brother to confide in, but Gabriel's good humour was too much altered.

A change in the carriage's seats brought up a strange occurrence. Beth, who had until then avoided Castiel, started asking questions about Colonel Sam Campbell. She wanted to know how long Castiel had known him, and if they were great friends, in a tone that suggested jealousy. Castiel was so far from certain that she was interested in anything else than his friend's worldly possessions, that he did not assuage her fears.

Gabriel must have heard part of their conversation, for he came out of his shell and asked Castiel if he had written to Dean to let him know they would meet in London.

"I have not. Mr Winchester must be very busy. I do not think he'll need our company."

"Nonsense! I am sure he will be delighted to see you again. In fact, I have written to him myself."

"Then why ask me if I did?"

"I was just curious."

Beth had a perplexed look and murmured:

"I did not know you were friends of Mr Winchester."

Castiel was more than surprised at this, but Beth did not wish to reply to any inquiries. They were already in London and soon after, the carriage stopped in front of a very nice house in a fashionable street.

Gabriel was more affable as they settled in their shared room, and talked about what shops they should visit to find the latest hats or gloves. Castiel was adamant that such spending were unnecessary and unwise, but Gabriel insisted that Mr Milton had said he would pay for it, "so that you two look presentable". The argument was turning in favor of the youngest Novak brother, when they suddenly heard a loud banging on their window.

Castiel was about to run for help, as it was already night and a big dangerous city, but Gabriel had already run to the window and leaned outside.

"It's Dean!"

Castiel joined him instantly, his head spinning with hope and dread. He saw the silhouette of the alpha and heard:

"Castiel, will you run away with me?"


	17. Chapter 17

Gabriel did not say anything but he took Castiel's coat from the chair and handed it to him with a decided air. Castiel ran down the stairs in a stupor, incapable of even slowing himself down.

It was not before he felt the pavement under his feet that his mind started operating again and seeing Dean's beautiful face did not help in the least. His body was a mess of vibration and desires and his heart was telling him that society had failed him enough that he did not need to sacrifice his happiness to it. On the other hand, his reasonable instincts were screaming in his head about the imprudence and mostly the repercussion his running away would entail for both his brothers. This was enough to break his impulse and so when Dean reached for his arm, he withdrew from him.

"Castiel? Are you not coming with me?"

"I cannot, Dean. It is but too selfish of me to expose my family to such a scandal."

Dean took a step in his direction but stopped when Castiel put a hand over his own mouth. In the dim light of the street lamp, their gazes nevertheless connected.

"Castiel, I beg you. You are ever present in my mind. I feel a passion that I did not know possible. Will you deny me my salvation?"

"Dean, as much as I am touched by this words, I know your sensibility. Would you want Gabriel to be shunned and despised at the start of his life?"

Dean paused, his features looking less pleasant for a while as anger made way to confusion:

"Do you not love me? I was certain that my feelings were returned. I would not have dared asked you otherwise. It is of the utmost importance that we leave now, so tell me if I was mistaken."

Castiel could not lie. His reserved nature was helpless against the seriousness of the occasion. With tremendous efforts, he opened his mouth to utter the truest words he would ever speak:

"I do love you. You cannot doubt that. I will cherish your memory for the remnant of my lonely life, I promise you.", he had to collect himself and clear his tears away, but when he spoke again, his voice was firmer: "You know in your heart that this is not honorable nor righteous. For a moment, I was drawn into this dream by the strength of these feelings you were unconvinced about a moment ago. Let us close this unsettling chapter of our lives and bid each other good-bye."

The last words took all his strength to mutter but Dean heard them perfectly. He fell on his knees and started sobbing.

The sight was too distressing for Castiel not to act on it and so he knelt next to his beloved and stroked his cheeks to calm him down:

"Dean, consider how fortunate you still are. You have a loving brother and many friends. I am sure that in time..."

His hand stilled then moved upright. Dean's forehead was like a fire. No amount of sadness or ardour could explain such warmth. Understanding dawned on him:

"Dean, you are feverish. I believe you are very sick!"

But Dean was moving his head closer to Castiel, his lips a mere inched from his. Castiel looked around the empty street and let himself commit to a crazy act. It was very possible that Dean would not remember the kiss but he would and that would be the sweetest of secrets to bear.

He called Gabriel, who was watching from the window with trepidation, to join and help him. Together, they put Dean back on his feet and led him to the sitting-room. Gabe stayed there while Castiel went and stood in front of the Milton's door. He felt impertinent but time was of the essence.

His first knock was unanswered, so he punched harder. He had hoped that Jo would open, but it was Balthazar who appeared in a nightdress and worried eyes:

"Is something the matter?"

"I am so sorry to disturb you but I have to ask for your help. Our friend, Mr Winchester is very unwell and we need a physician."

Balthazar sighed, then closed the door. Castiel waited, unsure, until he saw the man emerge again, hastily dressed:

"I will fetch Doctor Constantine. He will not mind being woken up and is a master of his field. My servants will take Dean to the blue bedroom."

"You are a credit to Alphas, Sir. I thank you from the bottom of my heart."

Balthazar smiled sadly and asked with just enough of impudence to sound like himself:

"So, I was wrong to pronounce you as bitter and cold. It seems your heart has been given away."

Castiel blushed at the remark but did not argue. He was feeling impatient, wanting to sit by Dean as quickly as possible or he feared he would lose his mind to worry. A high fever was not triffling business.


	18. Chapter 18

It was a fact that Castiel had once lost a father. It was also a truth that his heart still bled at the thought, for whose heart wouldn't? He had begged any god that would listen to spare the man who not only was his whole world, but also his mother's and brother's. Every tear he had shed at the funeral spoke of his distress and anguish.

Yet, until the very moment he sat at Dean's bedside, he had never known a fear as brutal as the one he was experiencing. Even his body became weak, a bilious feeling overtaking it, although he did not dare leave the room for a second. Dean was never in rest, his hands grabbing the sheets till they were as white as them. There were tremors in his limbs, bur what was most frightening were his eyes. They looked deranged, never resting on any sight, the blood vessels visible as they never should be. Castiel would have given his right leg if it meant Dean became his old self again. In truth, he would give his whole life without any regret.

Gabriel found him weeping, as he tried to assuage Dean's discomfort by applying a wet cloth on his forehead but the intense worry was impeding his movement and the cloth kept falling. His brother's gentle hand came to the rescue but it did not change much.

"Castiel, my beloved brother, I implore you to take some rest. The physician is to come any minute now."

"Until he does I will remain in this spot. Dean needs to be looked after."

"He does, but I am here and can replace you for a moment. I cannot lie, Cas, seeing you this way, I am fearing you will fall ill too."

Castiel dismissed that notion with a wave of a hand but Gabriel remained unyielding:

" People get fever all the time, Cas. Until we are told it is a serious sort, there is no real need to worry."

"I wish my feelings proved as sensible as this, Gabe, but alas, I am as weak a creature as any child. My mind cannot stop providing me with terrifying visions of what could happen. I feel I cannot breath."

Indeed, his lungs were struggling so much that found himself unable to talk. Gabriel took a second cloth and tapped Castiel's chest softly, which proved immensely helpful. It was also when a servant came in to announce the physician and Castiel experienced a mixture of hope and dread at this news. Gabriel led him to their bedroom, asking a servant to bring a hot cocoa. Castiel accepted the thoughtful gift but the drink did not bring any warmth.

"I understand your worries, Cas, but I do urge you to gain your senses back. How will any of us keep our bearings if even you give way to your emotions?"

Castiel heard the tender admiration in that statement but he still felt the need to explain his heart:

"When you use the term "understand", I believe you are referring to caring for someone special to you?"

Gabriel's soft smile was his answer. Cas nodded and placed his fingers on his brother's arm, before he spoke again:

"You are mistaken, I am afraid. Were you in my place that you would not feel the way I do. I am aware that Lucifer and you must have a sort of understanding...", at this, Gabriel looked startled but he did not interrupt, "... but in mine and Dean's case, it is not possible. Were he to recover in the hour, there would still be no positive conclusion available to us."

"But when he called you tonight, you did not hesitate in following him. I thought you were going to elope. His father will not be able to oppose your match if the mating has taken place."

It took some time for Castiel to tell him every sad detail of their story. The mounting despair he could see in his brother had him embrace and console him, even as he himself hurt as much as he did before.

* * *

Finally, the physician came to the hall and asked for everyone to listen to his conclusions. There were spare, as he felt an urgency in starting a treatment before finding the exact source of the fever.

"It has gone so high that I fear for his life. I suggest that this young omega here", he gestured toward Gabriel, "be taken to another home as I can not ascertain if it is contagious."

"I am seventeen years old, sir, not an infant that would need coddling!"

"And here lies an alpha, superior to you in age and height, barely able to fight off the disease. I am sorry to insist but it is of the most importance."

"I will not abandon Mr Winchester in his hour of need, nor my brother."

Balthazar turned to Castiel with an imploring air:

"Take Gabriel with you, then. You are the only one he will listen to in this matter. I will provide you with a carriage and all the comfort I can offer."

At this, the whole of Castiel's being rebelled. He loved his brother and wished to protect him, but his place was with Dean. He shook his head, to the surprise and shock of his audience, as they were used to him being the voice of reason. But he did not budge.

The physician settled, asking the omegas to run multiple errands. He asked Gabriel more than Castiel, surely to get him out of the room, or maybe because the pain Castiel felt when he had to step out was so visible.

At some point, he heard him say:

"I might have been mistaken...", as he poked at Dean's arms and chest. His tone was hopeful, a treat to Castiel's ears and he was about to ask him his findings when they heard a very loud banging on the front door.

"Where is he? Where is my son?"

"Not so loud, sir, there is a sick man in the house."

"I know that now. You should have let me know immediately. As his father, it is my right to take any medical decisions for him!"

This time, when the physician looked at him, Castiel nodded. He was terrified at the thought of meeting Mr Winchester in such a tense situation, so he and his brother retreated to his bedroom, to finally give his own body a little of the rest it utterly needed.

When he awoke, Gabriel was able to give him some news. Dean was gone to his father's house, where the most expensive doctors would be summoned and so they were free to stay in London after all.

"Do you want to?"

"I will follow your direction, Castiel. If you want to go home, I will be in the carriage with you."

"But I thought Lucifer said he would come to town soon?"

"I did not come here to see him, although I would have been delighted if we had run into each other, of course."

Gabriel's countenance was elusive and Castiel was tempted to ask if there was someone else he had hoped of meeting. But his own concerns engrossed him too much. He did not wish to stay so near and yet so far from Dean. Some actual distance was preferable and so the two Novak wrote to their mother that they were going home.


	19. Chapter 19

Colonel Samuel Campbell was a man who had faced many hardships in his life, the first one happening before he was old enough to speak or walk.

The loss of his mother had not affected as much as one would think, however, for he had the privilege of being given motherly affection by another member of his family. His proud alpha father did not, of course, spend any time with him until he reached presenting age. So one would be easily persuaded that an older sister or omega brother would have followed their caring impulses, maybe as a way to prepare themselves for their future life as parents.

But it was not so, as the most important figure in Samuel's life had been and always was his alpha brother Dean. Contrary to what society expected from him, his brother had formed an attachment to the infant, developing a soft, comforting personality, that was an affront to their father's views of the world.

Mr Winchester had tried to lure Dean away from Sam by teaching him to hunt at a very early age, lecturing him for hours about the importance for each sex to follow their natural and social roles, and even by threatening to send him to a military establishment, but to no avail. Dean had decided that taking care of his little brother was his way of honoring his mother's memory, a sacred duty that turned him into a sensitive, respectful alpha, which was something the world was ill-prepared for. Their father finally relented but made sure to keep this between closed door. This meant that no nanny nor governess ever passed the steps and thus every one of Sam's first memories involved Dean, feeding him, reading him stories or even teaching him how to read.

This state of affairs could not continue endlessly and one terrible night, as he approached adulthood, Samuel witnessed a terrifying argument between Dean and his father that angered him so much that he interposed himself, telling his elder such disrespectful things that he was forever disgraced and banished from his own home. His dire situation led him to the army and a war where he almost lost his mind and would have certainly lost his life, if it had not been for the friendship he found with Colonel Singer.

Finding elders that appreciated him and respected him like the Colonel and his grandfather made him extremely grateful for both gentlemen and yet, none of them ever took Dean's place in his heart.

Which is why he had made it his brotherly duty to make light on one big mystery. Why was Dean, who was so visibly enamored with Castiel Novak, an affection that was obviously returned, reluctant into mating with the remarkable omega? True, their father would certainly frown at the match, for he valued fortune over birth and manners, of which Castiel had plenty, but a completed mating could never be denied. Dean's fear of being disowned was comprehensible but only to a point and that was where Samuel's intelligence came to a stop. He very much suspected that something else explained this uncharacteristic shyness and so he was making tremendous effort to overcome his own grim experiences, travel to the city and search himself for the truth, as he did not want to involve a stranger in his family's personal secrets.

His inquiries would have to start in his childhood home, which proved difficult as he feared meeting with his estranged father and also falling prey to the bitter feelings distant memories could inflict. He decided instead to lessen the risks by meeting with their previous cook, a headstrong woman of foreign persuasion, called Mrs Tran, on her new place of employment. He remembered distinctly that Dean had an inclination toward cooking, another unbecoming trait for an alpha, and had spent a long time in her company.

* * *

Thus he stood near an inn, in a part of town he had never been to and where no one of high breeding should ever venture, even though he could see that the place and people around him were clean and industrious-looking. He was also drenched by the heavy rain that had followed him around but never detained him. Inside, he asked a young waiter to meet the cook. The man looked at him with interest:

"Would I be wrong in naming you Samuel Winchester, alpha?"

"It is a name I have left behind some time ago. May I ask how we were acquainted?"

"You may have no recollection of me, as I was always in the servant quarters at your father's place. My name is Kevin Tran."

As it happened, the colonel did remember the little child that ran in the kitchens when he himself went to look for Dean and said so. Kevin looked very pleased and took him in the back rooms to meet his mother.

After many dramatic effusions, it transpired that Dean had not always been at Mrs Tran's side, using the excuse of learning how to cook to hide his leaving the house for small periods of time. Samuel had to prove exceedingly patient and reasonable, in order to extract informations from the excitable woman, but he finally learned where Dean had been headed at the time.


	20. Chapter 20

Colonel Campbell left the inn with new informations as well as a new cook and a new valet for his home, as he had been favorably impressed by the well-kept, successful establishment. He was now headed to a very poor street where frail children followed him, holding out their small hands. He gathered them all and asked them where the orphanage was situated, then gave each one a shilling.

It took him a moment to start his inquiries, for the establishment was a wonder of efficiency. They appeared to have meager finances and yet offered a healthy shelter for those who were most unfortunate. Samuel's orphaned heart was touched and he asked many practical questions. Thus, when he met the headmaster, an omega named Mrs Mills, he first said:

"Ma'am, I am willing to bestow this establishment fifty pounds a year, for I am certain you will use this money wisely for a very deserving cause."

"It is but a blessing that you have come, dear alpha. We just took in two more young girls, the ones you see here at the embroidery table. We were hoping to make a provision for a small dowry for each one but I feared we could not spare a shilling."

"May I ask if they are any alphas?"

"No, some of our charges just had to survive in the streets for too long, so they look a little rugged. We only take in omegas and girls. I hope this will not change your mind."

"On the contrary", Sam bowed and added: "I hope you will be able to answer me. About ten or fifteen years ago, my brother, named Dean, came to this place to be of help. He is an alpha and I do not know the nature of the services he rendered. I am very curious on this matter, although I would understand if you wished to keep his secret, which would not change the arrangement we previously discussed."

Mrs Mill demeanor was altered when hearing this, her strict face now adorned with a smile:

"I presume you to be Sam Winchester? Dean has regaled us with stories about you. He explained that he missed the easy, playful contact with small children and came here to revive this precious feeling."

"Did he make friends here?"

"Certainly. He was quite respectful and never tried to seduce any of the older omegas, but there was one of our charges, Miss Elisabeth whom he grew very close with..."

This Lisa, Sam learned, came with child but did not divulge the father's name, nor did she go live with a mate. Dean had been very concerned about her and helped her as much as he could, but he did not have any personal money at his disposal, and thus asked Mrs Mills to help Lisa get sent to a farm where she could spend her confinement and then later be employed as a maid.

"You had no suspicion as for the alpha who was responsible for her situation?" Sam asked with trepidation. He did not like where the conversation was going, even if it was enlightening.

"Lisa was a nice girl but she was also a flirt, I'm afraid. She went to a few fairs where she met many suitors. One of them was a man of fashion and fortune and I was afraid that he was not serious. He had a peculiar first name, Lucifer."

Sam almost lost his countenance at this. He thanked Mrs Mills, ready to take his leave but asked with no real hope of an answer:

"Do you happen to know this young lady's whereabouts?"

"I do, of course. I pride myself of my keeping connected with all my previous charges. She had the great fortune of making wealthy friends who have taken her under their protection. They are called the Miltons."

This time, Samuel did forget decorum and let out a gasp. He apologized profusely, then confirm that he would send an attorney to settle the agreement.

He returned to his lodgings deep in thoughts. Beth had changed everything about her, from the way she was called to the truth about her son, but she was still mercenary in her dealings with alphas. He, himself, had been unaffected by her advances but he was wondering if his more emotional brother had lacked his restraint. It seemed he could not continue his search without addressing Dean in person.

Sadly, a messenger was awaiting him with worrying news. Dean was taken with a fever and had asked for his presence at their father's house.


	21. Chapter 21

Dean Winchester woke one morning, feeling very poorly. He had the presence of mind to look around for a bucket to relieve his sickness in and then lay back on the bed, his mind following his body in unrest as he tried to understand the reason for this condition. Such unpleasant experiences happened scarcely to him for he had a strong constitution, and those were memories he had no pleasure in visiting, for the last time he ever felt that way was the last time he had partaken in drinking alcohol.

He remembered the way his head had hurt, as he listened in incomprehension to Lisa, who was thanking him for the night of passion they had shared. The fact that he had no recollection of this had frightened him dearly and when this folly had born consequences for her, he had sworn to always be in control of his actions and never allow himself to be weakened again.

Like every morning, he had a prayer for this son that did not know him, then sat on the edge on the mattress to get ready for the day. He was prevented to do so by a strong fainting sensation. He looked around, recognized his room in his father's house and tried to chase down any explanation for his present state.

The very first thing of importance to come back to him involved Castiel. This was not surprising, as the gentle omega was in his thoughts on many occasions through the day, but this time, he remembered being quite upset at him. He even remembered crying, something that he never wanted anyone to witness. He became more and more agitated, his chest like a furnace, a terrible thirst ravaging his throat. The image of Castiel tending to him with worry and affection appeared as clear as day and he cried:

"Caaass..."

A door opened to his left, but he was not greeted with the sight of his beloved. The man wore a wig and had a stern look to himself. He knelt next to Dean and touched his forehead, whispering:

"It seems the fever has returned once more. I shall ask for another colleague's opinion on that matter..."

"Are you a physician?" Dean tried to ask, but he could barely talk. The man did not answer and disappeared again. Dean's thirst remained unabated.

Some times later, Dean was woken again by an uproar next to the bed. His father was arguing about Dean's health with an unknown party.

"He is the best physician in Harley Street! And he only treats alphas of high breeding. The Miltons asked an omega... The indignity!"

"I've received an answer from them, we are talking about Doctor Constantine. He was the one who treated me back from the war. I trust his judgment ten times more than the arrogant one you are paying too much for."

The voice raised Dean's attention for it sounded like his brother's, which he could not believe possible. He turned on the bed to find out but was stopped by an intense pain down his abdomen.

His scream broke the dispute and both men ran to the bed. Sam was indeed in the room and his sight made Dean feel much better, all of a sudden. He forced his voice to come out stronger to say:

"Father, listen to Sammy... Fetch the other doctor... I remember him now, he sounded intelligent... This one did not even give me a glass of water."

"Do you hear that, father? Would you lose your first born rather than listen to reason just this once? I cannot bear seeing Dean suffer in that manner."

Mr Winchester was a stubborn, proud alpha but he did relent and the physician was fetched. All this struggle had exhausted Dean and he fell in a stupor filled with nightmares of Castiel rejecting him.

* * *

Doctor Constantine had apparently filled his time on researching Dean's condition and so, he was able to calm the fever for long enough as to be able to examine him more thoroughly. He finally said:

"I believe, sir, that I have found the cause of your infection."

"Have you? Can you heal it?"

"It is a complicated case and a sensitive one too. It is about your alphahood."

Dean blushed but did not avert his eyes. He wanted to live, if not for his sake, then for Sam, whose mental well-being would be severely affected by his death, and to see Castiel again.

The physician was very direct, which reassured Dean on his competences:

"It would appear that you have recently experienced a very deep attraction for another gender, woman or omega, and thus, your organ has started preparing itself for knotting."

Dean blushed again but did not deny it.

"My observation is that you were born with a small defect, resulting in superfluous skin that prevents the act of knotting. The pressure coming from the desire and the maturing has created an inflammation that explains your fever and could have been fatal. Luckily, it is possible to perform surgery and have you live to your full alpha potential" the physician added with a grin.

Dean was so astounded that he let the doctor finish before he could object:

"I do not want to doubt your expertise, but I know for a fact that I am not impotent. I fathered a child already."

"I do not believe that."

"I do, I am mated and have been for a few years. Maybe the problem developed afterward, as I have lived like a monk since that only night."

"I am sorry to insist but I am certain that you could never have conceived a child. Your condition prevents it and it never appears after birth, you must have been born that way."

"Then, where is Ben coming from?"

The doctor put a kind hand on Dean and asked with absolute patience:

"Sir, are you sure that your partner was virtuous? Maybe you were chosen as a replacement for the real father. Do you remember your mating in detail?"

"No... I was rather drunk that night. I have no memories..." Dean said, aghast at the discovery.

He had known Lisa to be ambitious and unyielding, but to take advantage of him in such a way... He had told her he could not tell his father at first or he would be disinherited and suddenly she had withdrawn, taking her son with her. Dean could feel his mind ready to burst from the shock but already, the doctor was asking:

"You say you were drunk that night. What were your symptoms when you woke up?"

Dean gave any answers he could remember, all the while feeling a strange sensation growing inside his heart.

"What you have told me is not an effect of alcohol. I would suggest that it was created by the ingestion of a drug that may have been given to you to make you unconscious, so that you could be persuaded the mating had taken place. I assure you, once again, that it was not the case."

Dean recognized the feeling now. He was free. If he survived that surgery, Castiel was within his reach. At least, if he still cared for him.


	22. Chapter 22

It was a time of silence and contemplation for Castiel as he reached his home.

His mother was now very aware of his distress, not because Gabriel had informed her, but because for the first time in his life Castiel was unable to keep his composure intact. She offered her support, in a way that sounded as sincere as he would ever hope, yet, he had to refuse, for any interference, however kindly, proved a hindrance rather than a balm.

Helen did not know the reason for his worried state, but she did ask her servants to be attentive to his comfort and provide him with as many fresh fruits as they could find. She also made sure that any letter he received from the Miltons went to him immediately, even though she did not know the reason he was so anxious to read them.

Dean's predicament was not a secret in the house, however. Colonel Campbell had been a steady corespondent to Colonel Singer, exposing his anxiousness at his brother's treatment and while none of said letters were shared to the others, an atmosphere of gloom pervaded the place, leaving only Gabriel to protect little Samandriel from its influence.

News were spare for a long time, to the point where Castiel could not be certain if Dean was still alive. He prayed and wept in the privacy of his bedroom, dreading the moment when hope would be replaced by certainty. He worked on hardening himself, putting duty above romanticism, as he argued with his heart that it was folly to think that one's happiness would depend entirely on a particular person and that a healthy Dean was still destined to be a stranger to him.

It was in this circumstances that Lucifer came back from London and came to visit, asking for a private conversation with Gabriel. Castiel rejoiced at the thought, for he wished for his brother all the happiness he was himself denied. He took Samandriel for a walk and asked his mother to accompany them, wanting the proposal to be as natural as could be.

There were only kept in suspense for the duration of the walk, for on the way back, they passed a very cross Lucifer, who barely acknowledged them. Castiel ran to the omega quarter and found his brother in a calm if melancholic state:

"Are you feeling alright, beloved brother? I had hoped to find you in a more exalted state."

"Had you? It is but my own fault for letting you think this, Cas. I'm afraid I lacked restrain when I first spend time with Lucifer, giving the impression that we were more intimate than what was the case. I have never returned his affections and it was a trial to reject him for I have the highest regard for him. It is such a vexation to break someone's heart when one does not wish to."

Cas did not know what to respond and instead hold his brother's hand. He wondered if Gabriel's sadness did not have another reason and if his heart was otherwise engaged but he did not press the subject.

* * *

Finally, news reached them and Castiel feared he would faint when he heard Colonel Singer say that Dean was making a full recovery and would visit them soon, along with Sam. Everyone rejoiced, even Castiel, who had accepted his fate and only wished that his beloved live a full satisfying life.

And yet, he was not prepared for the hurt he was to experience when the Jo Milton wrote about the London gossip. It was said that Dean Winchester was promised to a wealthy young woman of considerable means named Miss Talbot, an union that was much desired by his father for, even though the Talbot were by no means their equals in rank, they owned vast acres of lands and had much influence at the Parliament. She also mentioned that their protégée, Beth, had just gotten married and was now Mrs Campell.

Castiel could not bear the news on his own and decided to show the letter to his brother. He expected him to show compassion or even sadness, but he did not understand the tears he saw on Gabriel's face, nor the sobbing that followed. So, Castiel put his feelings under control and worked on comforting him. Eventually, Gabriel could talk again:

"I... I had hopes... We were in friendly terms and sometimes he would look at me in a way... I am a fool and greatly punished for hurting Lucifer's feelings, for it is my turn to be replaced in someone's affections. And to think he chose such an undeserving recipient for his love. I am sure that were he not so rich, she would never had addressed him."

Castiel agreed with him and they spent the evening sitting on the bed, watching the fire die, and accepting that they would be each other's sole companions for the rest of their lives.


	23. Chapter 23

The two elder Novak brothers had become inseparable, united in their misfortune, providing each others with affectionate comforting, having decided to distract themselves with teaching the other their music and their drawing. Castiel had expected Gabriel to be a fickle student, too passionate at times, and too childish at others, but he was proven wrong. Amazed at the poise and dedication he witnessed, he realized that the recent events had affected his brother in a positive manner and that he had, for all intents and purposes, become a matured omega, ready for the world with all its complications and disappointments.

His mother had noticed too and was now pressing Helen into organizing a village ball, so that poorer alphas but with good prospect could be introduced to them. Castiel was certain that expectations about matings now only applied to his younger brother, a fact he welcomed earnestly, for he did not find his affections for Dean to be declining in any way.

One day, Gabriel was asked to assist his mother into persuading Helen, and thus Castiel was left to his own devices. He decided to go for a ride, something he had longed to do for a long time. The horse was far from docile and forcibly led him toward Colonel Campbell's property. Castiel let it, safe in the knowledge that the place was closed, his friend probably on his honeymoon with the scheming Elisabeth. He reflected that said friend had never written to him about his mating and wondered if he should not think of him as a former acquaintance.

He was so preoccupied with the heaviness of his heart that, at first, he did not notice a fellow rider passing him on the road. When he did, he recognized Lucifer, who looked so altered Castiel hoped he was not sick. He raised a hand and while the alpha seemed reluctant to answer his address, saw him turn around and bring his horse next to him.

"Sir, you look troubled. Is your grandmother unwell?"

"On the contrary. She is in excellent form and had enough energy to throw me out on the streets. I am no longer welcome in this part of the world, I am afraid."

"That is dreadful! What could have led her to such a drastic course of action? Has your character been misrepresented?"

"It has not..." Lucifer sighed and looked away. "I am very guilty of everything she has accused me of and much more. This country has crushed me in every way possible. I cannot wait to be back home, even if it may not remain home much longer."

His distress was affecting Castiel greatly and yet he could not help asking:

"Perhaps your conduct was not as objectionable as it seemed. It might be possible for us to plead your case to your grandmother."

Lucifer's eyes came back to him and softened considerably:

"Castiel, you are a most gentle omega, the like of which one rarely meets. You are also very innocent in your ways. The nature of my faults is one that bears consequences for all parties involved."

He made to turn his horse back, but stopped abruptly, his shoulders falling.

"Perhaps I could unburden myself to you. I trust your discretion and your capacity for compassion. May we sit on this bench over there?"

It transpired that Lucifer had met a young pretty girl when he was younger and that she had flirted and acted with a confidence that assured him she was not interested in any entanglement. They went too far but it did not occur to Lucifer that he could have been a father. He never saw her again and did not give her a second thought until this very day when his grandmother confronted him. It transpired that Beth, or Lisa as he used to call her at the time, had confided to her husband the whole story and that the man was now adamant that Lucifer be exposed.

Castiel was sympathetic but in the privacy of his mind, he could not help but compare the arrogant Alpha's attitude to Dean's dutiful one. Lucifer had acted foolishly, without considering natural developments and treated an important matter like mating like a game. Even if Lisa had been as thoughtless, she still faced graver consequences, so he had, for all that mattered, abandoned her in an hour of need. Dean had been ready to lose everything, all for a lie.

It suddenly dawned on Cas that Dean was not a father. This might explain why he was now promised to another woman, he was now free to mate. And yet, he had not chosen Castiel.

It was Castiel's turn to be comforted by his brother when they were told that Colonel Campbell was asking for them. They exchanged a look of confusion, although Castiel was less surprised, after all Lucifer's grandmother had been told about Beth's story that very same day, so Sam must have been back home recently. He took his brother's shaking hand in his and whispered encouragements as they went down the stairs.

They found Colonel Singer shaking hands with Sam, his face warm and open like he scarcely let it be. His friend was smiling at him but his countenance changed when he caught sight of Gabriel. He walked briskly toward them, his long legs a little unsteady and a grave expression on his face:

"Castiel, Gabriel, it is such a pleasure to see you again. I have been occupied with my brother's health in such a way as to make me unable to write to any of you, but rest assured that I have not forgotten my friends."

At this, Gabriel's face turned to anger. Before he could forget his manners, Castiel stepped in, intent on saving everyone's feelings:

"It is a reciprocal pleasure, my dear Colonel. My brother and I would like to congratulate you on your recent nuptials. Is Mrs Campbell with you at the house?"

The Colonel had been guarded and solemn for as long as Castiel had known him, so it was a shock to see him looking so bewildered. Gabriel stopped frowning and mirrored his expression. Nobody talked for a while and Castiel was ready to start talking about the weather when the Colonel finally collected himself and babbled:

"My...? I am not... Why would you..." then he took a deep breath and said, "You must have heard about my cousin, Mr Christian Campbell. I was told he got married recently to a person of our acquaintance."

There was a loud gasp and Gabriel ran up the stairway. Castiel turned to his friend and called:

"Could you come back at a later time, my brother needs some rest," as he ran behind Gabe.

He still caught the small smile on Sam's lips. Apparently Gabriel's strong reaction to the news was unexpected to him but welcomed.

The next day, Gabriel was convinced to go for a walk with the Colonel and Castiel came as a chaperon. His presence was not needed, of course, and soon enough the two lovers were heading back home to receive Mrs Novak's blessings.

That night, Gabriel talked and talked until his voice was hoarse. Castiel looked at him in contentment, his pleasure only tainted by the prospect of running into Dean at the incoming wedding.


	24. Chapter 24

The first wonders Gabriel and Castiel were to experience when it came to Colonel Campbell was how wealthy the man was.

His grandfather had been a man of intellectual pursuits, which is immensely valuable and at the same time very affordable. Instead on spending money on fashion, horses or women, both he and his grandson had made their library an oasis for their souls and only bought a few art pieces for the rest of the house. In the meantime, the money had poured from the renters of all the estates they owned all over the country.

There was only one empty one at the moment, the Colonel had explained, that needed quite a lot of reparations before it could be let again, just on the edge of the nearest town, but all the other buildings were at full capacities, which was not surprising given their excellent conditions, as the Colonel was very particular about good living conditions for everyone.

It could even be said that his own home was the most uncared for, especially the gardens. Gabriel was in two minds about those, alternating between the desire of creating something personal and beautiful and letting it as it was for it was beautiful in its wild state already. Castiel joked that it would mean that their honeymoon would be spent drawing plans instead of celebrating, but Gabriel had blushed so much at the mention of his mating that he hadn't the heart to push the subject further.

To change the subject, Gabriel brought back the repeated conversation about Castiel's apparel for the ceremony. He was adamant that his brother looked as handsome and well-dressed as himself, while Castiel argued that it was Gabe's time to shine on his own. They had tried to get Sam involved in this discussion but the Colonel had refused to take position between his fiancé and his friend. So they debated fruitlessly until dinner was served. All through the argument, Castiel never revealed the real reason behind his reluctance : he did not feel that he could ever equal his brother in terms of physical attraction.

* * *

So, on the merry day, he walked to the temple wearing his old garments again. He had a specific attachment to them, as they reminded him of his foolish attempts to charm Dean. He could hardly believe not a year had passed since these youthful times. At the time, any marriage prospects had seemed doomed for them and yet here was Sam, waiting for Gabriel at the altar. Castiel placed himself on the other side, facing the assembly with a forced smile, his mind occupied with intrusive thoughts about Dean, his eyes searching without his consent, but failing to find him on any benches. Perhaps Mr Winchester Senior had forbidden him to come, or maybe he was still too weak. Castiel did not know whether he rejoiced or despaired but he knew for certain that keeping his countenance was of the utmost importance, so he did not try to clarify what was in his heart.

When he managed to gather his attention, he noticed something very strange. Almost every alpha in the room was looking at him with a hungry look. The only exceptions were Sam and Bobby, although each one had complimented him on his complexion in the morning. Could it be that the Miltons had been accurate in their perception of Castiel's allurement?

This shocking realization was soon replaced by another disconcerting experience, for an alpha was taking place beside the Colonel and the sight of him was harsh. Castiel bore it with as much moral strength as he could find. Mostly, he turned enough that Dean was not in his line of vision anymore, focusing instead on Gabriel's arrival.

The ceremony was short, as the mating was still to take place and even a gentleman like Sam was showing signs of extreme impatience. The newlyweds disappeared in their carriage, barely stopping for the flower petals people were throwing at them.

And in that moment, Castiel lost his best friend and confident of many years. He was happy for Gabe but the loss in his life was irreparable. To change his mind, he wandered among the guests, responding to greetings and agreeing with enthusiasm to any notion of conjugal felicity the new couple was to experience.

As time went by, a few single alphas took efforts in conversing with him and even asked him to dance with them in the evening. He accepted gracefully, safe in the knowledge that his lingering feelings for Dean would prevent any new attachments. After an hour, only the Allemande remained unclaimed.

So Castiel surrendered to the happy agitation, stopped examining every encounter and just lived. After all the dances had been enjoyed, he prepared to sit down but his arm was suddenly seized.

He met Dean's eyes just as the first note for the Allemande were heard. He did not fight and Dean did not force. Just like at Michael's ball, they were joined in perfect harmony, their feet following the pattern obediently, their arms keeping their body apart for decorum but their gazes betrayed their modesty, in this intimate and yet very public reunion.

When it was over, Castiel just said: "Thank you, Mr Winchester" with as much gratitude as he could, for this was a gift he would treasure, another memory he could dwell on. He took a step back to leave, but Dean kept his hand in his and led him gently in the deep shadows of the trees outside. Castiel's heart beat so fast in his chest, he believed he was dying.


	25. Chapter 25

"Much has happened since we last danced, Mr Novak." said Dean in a quiet voice that betrayed none of his feelings of thoughts.

Castiel was eager to decipher him for he was in a great state of excitement, something he had forbidden himself to experience for the last months.

So he caught his breath, focused on his demeanour and when he was certain he had his body under control, he replied with a calmness that was but a lie:

"Indeed, Mr Winchester. I have to congratulate you on your recovery. I was not sure if you could attend your brother's wedding at all."

Dean's eyes were pensive and he kept the same prudent tone when he answered:

"I could never miss this. The love I have for my brother is something that has been reproached to me many times but I do not feel ashamed. His well-being is of the utmost importance. I am glad he has found a worthy Omega to share his life. I will not worry as much."

"I did not know you had such a high opinion of Gabriel. Many who met him see him as quite childish. He is only eighteen after all."

"He is very young that is true, but he is also warm and loyal. He has high values and will judge easily those who do not meet his approval, yet for those who do, he then shows devotion and caring. Sam has gone through such horrifying experiences, his spirit was as damaged as his body. Since he met your brother, his cheerfulness has been restored and he now leaves his house and meet other people. Plus, at seven and twenty, he has wisdom for the both of them."

"I have to agree with this statement. My mother and I have often worried about his passionate character. The Colonel will be very good for him and," Castiel added mischievous "while Gabriel has learned to be more prudent with money, he will certainly appreciate the luxury the Campbell's fortune can provide."

He had intended to say this in jest, knowing that Dean would be happy with his attempt to lighten their conversation but strangely, Dean frowned and took a step back.

"You are right. I sometimes forget that you were used to comfort. It is to your credit Mr Castiel, that you appear unaffected by such a drastic change in your living conditions."

His posture was now so stiff that Castiel felt he was facing a stranger. He could not understand what could explain this alteration and felt distress at the sight.

"Mrs Harvelle's estate is by no mean less grand than our previous home and while we are but guests here, I would not say that our daily life is anything than utterly comfortable. It is more in terms of prospects that we are limited. I can accept the idea that I will be a singleton, but I have always hoped that Gabriel and Samandriel would have a future and families of their own. Part of my wish has been granted, which brings me great joy and relief."

Dean's face was once again different, his eyes looking softer. He put his hand on Castiel's arm and whispered:

"You are so beautiful and you cannot see it. When we left the room, earlier, there were some alphas who gave me angry looks for they must have been quite envious."

Castiel meant to deny the fact, but he had to admit that he had received some attention during the wedding. Maybe Gabriel was not the only one to have grown and changed during their difficult times. He certainly was less on his guards, although he was still reserved and cautious, and smiled more, as he was in this instant.

The smile must have given Dean back his confidence. He bravely took Castiel's hand in his and said in a shaking but determined voice:

"Since my recovery, my father has been industrious in his desire to see me married to a rich young lady of his acquaintance. I did not agree with his design but did not speak up out of fear and deference for him. A month ago, he told me I was to propose to her the next time we met. At the time I was so sure that my happiness lied in another direction that I told him that I could not follow his orders. He was angry and we had words. When I told him where my affection lies, he said that he would disinherit me if I were to mate with someone without money. I realized that he had no desire to see me happy and that I was of little importance to him. So I accepted my fate and left his protection. I am now a fully independent but very poor alpha. And it is as such that I am asking you, Castiel, will you be my mate?"

At first, Castiel could not respond. He was oppressed, overcome by his own felicity. Any hope he had nurtured about Dean was now rewarded, making his mind restless and his body numb. It was

the sight of Dean's anxiety that prompted him to vocalize his approval.

The kiss that united them was as passionate as their reserved natures could allow but it was filled with ecstasy. They now had to walk, hand in hand, and had to talk about their happiness and their future, for how else would they not burst from the intensity of their reciprocated feelings.

* * *

It was after his second kiss that Dean brought up a new subject:

"While I am cut off from my inheritance, I do have professional prospects that will allow me to support you. We will have to wait, unfortunately, for me to afford the expense of the wedding you deserve."

"And what kind is that" Castiel asked, laughing.

"The one we just attended seems a good comparison."

Castiel shook his head and sighed in contentment when he realized he could now freely kiss Dean's cheek.

"This was a present from Sam to Gabriel, and in keeping with their income. I do not aspire to such grandeur for just one day, especially if economy would keep us apart until then."

"Really?" Dean was smiling more and more as the conversation progressed, "And how long are you prepared to wait for us to unite our lives?"

"Well," Castiel said with the utmost honesty, "if Sam agrees to let us stay in his home during his honeymoon, I'd say a few minutes."

Dean stopped and frowned:

"I am certain the priest has already left the premise. A new wedding will take some time to prepare, even if it is not an expensive affair."

"True, but a mating is immediate and as acceptable when it comes to starting matrimony, is it not?"

After some stammering, Dean had to concede the point, although he asked many times if Castiel was serious in his decision and to tell him if he were to change his mind. But Cas was now feeling his body getting ready for the mating and barely listened as he looked for a secluded place that would offer some intimacy.


	26. Chapter 26

Colonel Campbell's estate was large and contained many rooms, but it was the outdoor that offered them the most remote emplacement they could hope for. Near the end of the property stood a small construction, its interior filled with gardening equipment, as well as a small bed. Given that the gardens were still as untidy as ever, it was a safe bet that no one was employed for the purpose of taking care of them and, as such, the little building did not show any sign of being in use. The sheets looked clean, but for a small layer of dust that was soon wiped out.

Dean was stood in the middle of the room, showing no sign of helping Castiel who was now busy finding and lighting a few candles. He turned to his beloved and, in as soft a tone as he could muster in the state he was in, asked him if he could go and lock the door.

This proved enough to shake Dean out of his stupefied mood and after obeying him, he ran towards Castiel, took him in his arm and lift him off the ground.

They fell on the mattress in unison, joy bursting out of their chest under the form of untamed laughs that they could only appease by intense kissing. Their smells were mixing, making Cas feel his body grow warmer, the fever as normal and healthy to him, as it had been dangerous for Dean. It also meant that any semblance of intelligence was out of his grasp and thus he had now to rely on pure instincts to act and react.

Dean's eyes were almost black, his pupils fixated on Castiel's, showing him clearly that Dean's arousal matched his own. This delightful occurrence was interrupted by Dean's desire to explore his neck, inhaling loudly as if Cas was a flower he had just picked.

But Castiel was growing impatient and he started to tug at Dean's garments. In the faint glow of the light, he saw Dean's complexion turn to a full blush. He suspended his gesture, but Dean murmured:

"No, it is fine, you can continue."

His throat now obstructed by strong feelings, Castiel resumed the undressing of his partner as fast as his shaking hands could allow. Dean was letting him manoeuvre, his body lying nonchalant on the bed, like a cat. Yet, the moment he was only covered in his under-shirt, he grabbed Castiel's arm with a strength that was both surprising and welcomed.

Castiel's own garments proved more difficult to take off, for they were quite damp in the lower areas. He forgot to feel embarrassed when he saw Dean's happy reaction to that state of affair. His body had readied itself with such efficiency that no other preparation was necessary, something he was sure to communicate urgently by shouting incoherently:

"Dean... Dean!"

The novel sensation he experienced after that was wonderful and made his insides ready to burst. Yet, he did not feel equal to make any more noises, fearing that Dean would be overwhelmed by his lack of modesty. He schooled himself in staying as still as was possible, hoping that his alpha was satisfied by what he was offering.

Dean paused in his endeavour and whispered with desperation:

"Don't you like it? Am I too small?"

There was so much vulnerability in this questions that Castiel felt guilty of his previous restraint. He caressed Dean's arm tenderly and answered:

"I did not know if I could express my happiness. It is you, alpha that govern my conduct from now on."

But Dean shook his head, while he resumed his movements. Castiel ceased any resistance and rewarded Dean with an involuntary scream of pleasure.

In the fog that was invading his mind, he could hear Dean say:

"You are my master as much as I am yours, Castiel. I would be a fool to judge you, you are superior to me in every aspect..." After another of Castiel's cry, he added, "This is why any noises you make are so enjoyable, as it means I have worn down your control, which makes wonder for my alphahood."

These words proved true, as Castiel's entrance was stretched further more, which, along with a renewed vigour in the workings of Dean's hips, led him to a state of absolute felicity. He did not know of his name, or his surrounding, lost in an enjoyment he could feel was met by Dean in every way.

The fever was finally starting to decrease, leaving traces of perspiration all over his forehead. Dean caressed it tenderly.

"Thank you so much, Omega. We are mated for life and you may be pregnant with my pup as we speak."

"I do hope so. I could not hope for a better mating."

"Really? With a scratchy blanket, in a ridiculously small bed, on the night of your brother's grand wedding?"

"Absolutely. The blanket is an absolute."

The laughter returned, vibrating from one body to another, as they were still united by the mating.

When it finally dissolved, they took great effort in creating it again, and again.

In the morning, Dean departed, after many necessary kisses, to go tell Mrs Novak she had a new son-in-law. He was also tasked with asking if Sam's mansion was free for them to use. Castiel used the remaining time to rest. He felt mated, happy, and changed.


	27. Chapter 27

It was customary for mated couples to be allowed three days of confinement, whether they be married or simply mated and so when Dean came back, he was the bearer of blessings and happy messages, as well as a voluminous fruit basket. When he asked the origin of the present, Dean had to blush and after many inquiries finally recounted his fortuitous meeting with Mrs Harvelle, who insisted on knowing the reason for his merry disposition and would not let him see Mrs Novak until he had confessed all. The result of this encounter was that everyone in the house was now informed of the mating and it even transpired that Ellen was in the midst of writing to her daughter about it.

Castiel had to laugh at his mate's sulkiness, which led to Dean refusing to tell him anything else until he had been caressed and kissed out of his mood. When he was satisfied, he took Castiel in his arms as he had the night before and took him inside the Campbell's house, of which they now had the reign till Gabriel and Sam came back. This change of quarters was for the better as it provided them with a softer, more comfortable bed, as well as servants to provide the minimum that was required for them to continue their intimate discoveries.

But as passionate as lovers can be, they will require pauses and thus began their discussions on the subject of their future. Castiel was very curious about Dean's new profession, so on the fourth morning, they walked to the town. Castiel was pleased to see alphas turn away as they advanced, in deference to the smell of his alpha on him, an experience that proved agreeable both for his own feelings and for the way he could see his companion marching with an added pride in his steps.

When they reached their destination, Dean gestured to an old but impressive building, asking:

"Do you know where we are?"

"As a matter of fact, I do, alpha. 'tis one of your brother's properties. He told us that no tenants could be entertained until diverse reparations were undertaken."

"Indeed, and they will be soon, for I have use of it."

"Will this be our home?"

Dean smiled at Castiel's surprise tone and produced a key from his coat. He opened the gate and walked to the door.

"It will be our home if you agree to be on my side when I turn this place into a school."

"Really, but the town already has such an establishment."

Dean turned and took his hand in his, his enthusiasm so great, the pressure Castiel felt was almost painful:

"It will be a special kind of school, for Omegas only. When I was young, I worked in a shelter in London where they took in orphans and gave them food and lodgings. They also prepared them for professions but sadly could not provide education. I intend to change that state of affair and allow the pups to live in healthier conditions outside the city, as well as offer them the opportunity to learn and become more prepared for their future. My brother agreed to finance the project and has offered me the position of headmaster, but I have refused."

Castiel was so confused, he could only listen for more informations, which Dean provided instantly:

"Mrs Mills will be better suited for the task. I would rather be in charge of the pups' well-being and act as a counsellor. Sam calls it "Being the Dean", which he finds very funny."

Castiel was in such awe that he forgot to tease his mate and instead rejoiced in such a useful project. He started occupying his time with ways to be of service as well and came up with many ideas. The journey back was well spent on conjectures and debates with his beloved.

They later went to visit the Harvelle household where Castiel was taken to task by his mother for his secrecy regarding his feelings for Dean. After much teasing, her tone changed to a more serious one as she said:

"I must apologize for forgetting about your emotional needs because I was so focussed on your brother. I do feel I should have taken better care of you even if you were not as vocal in your self-expression. It is but a blessing that you are nevertheless mated to the best alpha I have ever met and I commend you on your choice of partner."

Such maternal approval proved too much to bear and Castiel found himself crying tears of joy and relief for a long moment. When he was managed to compose himself, he was then met by Colonel Singer who told him thirteen words at most, all of which spoke of his pleasure at their mating.

They retired to their bedroom as soon as propriety would allow and united once more, for Dean had assured Castiel that the first pup he intended to take care of would be theirs.


End file.
